Son’s friend lives with sex offender
Dear Abby: We recently moved to a new neighborhood. My 8-year-old son, “Joey,” has become best friends with a classmate, “Paul,” who lives on our street. We know from research we did when we bought our house that Paul’s stepfather, with whom he lives, is a sex offender who committed crimes against children and served time in prison.
Paul has been coming to our house most days, which is fine. However, both Paul and Joey have started asking whether Joey can go play at Paul’s house. I will never allow my son to play there. At some point, the boys will want an explanation, but I don’t think Paul knows about his stepfather’s past, and I don’t think Paul’s mother knows that I know.
If I tell Joey an ageappropriate version of the truth, I am sure he will tell Paul. I don’t think this is how Paul should hear about his stepfather’s past, plus I am concerned it might cause Paul’s mother to get upset and cut off the kids’ friendship. Do you have any advice?
Conflicted In The West
Dear Conflicted: A way to handle it would be to continue insisting that the boys play only at your house. I do think you should discuss this with Paul’s mother so you know for sure this is what you are dealing with. If it is true, for the next few years use the old, “Because I’m your mother and I said so!” when Joey asks to visit Paul.
Dear Abby: I’ve been married for eight years. I love my wife with my heart and soul. The problem is, I still love my ex-wife. I never actually expressed these feelings toward my ex until recently. I write to her and call her, hoping she will answer. I find myself thinking about her more and more often each day. I know my ex still loves me, although she won’t come out and say it. Is it OK to be in love with one and still love the other?
Lots Of Love In Florida
Dear Lots: I’d say your exwife’s refusal to communicate sends a pretty strong message that she doesn’t feel the way you do.
I don’t know what is wrong in your current marriage, but if you don’t stop pining over the wife you dumped, you are going to lose this one, too. Counseling may help you accomplish this.