My son’s back home after college. It’s different now
I really didn’t want to write this. But my son and I are getting a divorce.
Not really, of course, but since he has graduated from college, we see less and less of each other.
He’s back living at home in Stamford because his job is in New York. And though I’m loving having him here, it’s different.
It all came home when I waited till he got up at noon (that hasn’t changed) to see if he wanted to go out to breakfast one Saturday. He couldn’t have been nicer, but he was going to the gym and then to the wall to smack out tennis balls, then home to study for his actuarial test.
I went running instead. He used to want to do everything with me. It’s different now.
I remember when I knew who his friends were, who he liked to do things with. When I ask if a friend got his internship one night after he goes out with the gang, I get the look. Not quite the rolled eyes, but almost. He had all this privacy at college and now he’s under Mom and Dad’s eye again.
It will all work itself out, but it is a funny place to be. I want to give him his privacy but it’s hard when he’s on the phone with friends and his bedroom is right next to ours
It’s hard not to ask, who were you talking to, when you had the right when he lived here before.
We’re both taking baby steps to respect each other but it’s a whole new world now.
Back in the day, when rents were affordable, you moved out right after college. I was out of the house when I was barely 22. My life became my own and my parents were totally out of it.
But today young adults can’t do that. I don’t see my son moving out for a number of years. While part of me likes that, my heart hurts for him that he can’t go on to have the life he wants (and deserves) just yet.
We’ve gone through many stages. But adulthood is one you’re never quite really ready for.
We all have new roles we’re slowly learning. We’ll figure it out, but it will take time.
You go through life expecting to be the parent. But it’s different when you’re suddenly not.