In Celebration of Mothers and Fathers

Taking time to love those who love us so dearly

For many restaurants around the nation, Mother’s Day is the busiest day in the business. Greeting card companies cash in on the occasion with messages that fit every situation and florists rush to complete orders—even though Anna Jarvis, who in 1908 established the present form of Mother’s Day in the United States, never intended such commercialization.

Yet TV vignettes depict a family arriving at a special brunch, with the reverent matriarch leaning on a loved one’s arm. Once seated, she can order anything, including that slice of cheesecake covered in raspberry sauce, before wiping a tear as she reads her Hallmark card.

And about a month later, we celebrate dad on Father’s Day with the same exultation. He’s portrayed in a traditional outdoor sport with the children or fishing on a dock around sunset, and later eating a juicy steak before opening his heartfelt card.

The ideas behind celebrating Mother’s Day and Father’s Day were born out of setting aside a day to acknowledge and appreciate the hard work, love and support from the most important people in our lives.

In today’s changing times, we see commercials depicting two dads or two moms, interracial families, blended families, guardians and single parents. These ads truly reflect real life. Children, no matter what age, are encouraged to express their appreciation for such families, shedding old stigmas and resurrecting the true meaning of taking time to love those who love us so dearly.

As a single mom, and having lost a parent before becoming one, Mother’s Day has been an important holiday to me, when I

The ideas behind celebrating Mother’s Day and Father’s Day were born out of setting aside a day to acknowledge and appreciate the hard work, love and support from the most important people in our lives.

can remember my mother and grandmother—and be appreciated by my son. I have shed a few tears after reading the cards my son has given me each year, as his handwriting evolves into neater script and correctly spelled words.

My stepfather, who adopted me, has always taken my son to pick out flowers or plants that I can place in my garden. And one month later, we celebrate him with cards, raspberry-filled chocolates and movie excursions. We are one of those no-longer-unique nontraditional families.

The men who have stepped in to take on the roles of father figures in single mothers’ lives deserve to be recognized as much as the women who have also stepped in as mother figures in the lives of single fathers. Blended families are no longer uncommon in our society and children have an opportunity to recognize the collective support of those who are helping to raise them.

My stepfather, who I have called “Keith” since I was 5 years old, is now “Grampa.” He serves as both grandparents for my son because my mom passed away before Aiden was born. He is one of those men who came into our lives—without any children of his own—and became our main supporter, healer and glue in our small family.

We had our disagreements, as he is a trim carpenter by trade and thus a straight-forward man who thinks linearly and not abstractly like I do. But he introduced me to Neil Young and The Beatles, taught me guitar, put up a basketball hoop outside our stilt house on Sanibel Island, taught me to ride my bike and taught me to drive.

I did not truly understand what love for a woman looked like until I saw him change the dressings of my mother’s wound from breast cancer, or change the tubes needed to drain out the toxins, and pray beside her. I knew he really loved her.

I knew he really loved me when I asked him nervously a week after her passing, “What are you going to do?” I was thinking that he would now be able to leave if he wanted to.

Instead of the response I dreaded, he said, “We are going to get through this together and take care of each other.” And he has not only taken care of me, but has been there for my son—his grandson. This is the kind of father—like so many others—who deserves celebration.

So, however we choose to celebrate these days— and whoever we choose to celebrate—I am grateful for the love I have seen in my own family, and grateful for the traditions we choose to keep that support this love and feed our souls.

Writer Paula Michele Bolado (right) and her son, Aiden, pose with step-grandma Gail and grandfather Larry Bolado.

From left: Aiden and grandpa Keith Monroe unwrapping gifts this past Christmas; the two visited a Christmas tree farm when Aiden was a young boy.

A note from North Carolina-based friends of Paula Michele Bolado says: “Last year on Mother’s Day, we came home from the hospital with our hands and hearts full with this darling girl. This year, we want our Mother’s Day to be about enjoying our...