Hurricane Ida damage reaching $80 billion in Louisianna by Argus Hamilton
HOLLYWOOD--God Bless America, and how's everybody?
CBS News reported that Hurricane Ida damage in Louisiana could reach eighty billion dollars according to Accu-Weather’s estimate. That would tie the eighty billion dollar damage to the Bayou State by Hurricane Katrina. Remember back when the Louisiana Purchase seemed like a good deal?
California governor hopeful Larry Elder, who is black, said reparations are owed to descendants of slave owners, whose legal property in slaves were taken away. First I got unemployment, then rental assistance and now reparations. When God gives me a good year, it lasts the entire 12 months.
Comedienne Kate Quigley is recovering from Fentanyl-laced cocaine that killed comic Fuquan Johnson and two others on Friday. The Wire star Michael K. Williams died from the same drug cocktail the next day. Is snorting Fentanyl then having cardiac arrest the new Ice Bucket Challenge?
Department of Agriculture inspectors were attacked by Murder Hornets Friday in Washington State. Nancy Pelosi has filed impeachment charges against Trump for inciting an insect insurrection. President Biden calls it the darkest day for our democracy since Alfred Hitchcock released The Birds.
Transporters movie star Megan Fox became a tabloid sensation last week when the paparazzi photographed her wearing an under-boob-exposing halter top to a grocery store. The time may be right for this look. It so happens that under-boob was Biden’s previous job description under Obama.
Donald Trump engaged in a radio discussion with religious leaders on Friday. He complained that in 2020 he got only fifty percent of the Catholic vote and only twenty-five percent of the Jewish vote because of evidence that he was too conservative. On the upside, he survived COVID and he probably won’t get worms.
The Wall Street Journal reported Friday on a newly-released poll which alarmed the CDC and vaccine proponents. It showed that most Republicans would rather NOT take the vaccine to prevent Covid and prefer to treat the Covid by taking the horseworming drug Ivermectin. The poll was taken by Gallup.
The Taliban took over in Kabul after the U.S. evacuation last week and the regime is now open for business. A thought just struck U.S. libertarians that would make a terrific tourism slogan for their country. Afghanistan is the one place you can go where the U.S. government will leave you alone.
Congressman Michael McCaul offered proof Friday that the Taliban are holding Americans hostage now. It’s like a thrilling daily drama from yesteryear. The Taliban refuse to allow a plane full of Americans to take off and leave the country in Friday’s episode of Jimmy Carter Rides Again!
Democrat Senator Joe Manchin ripped his party’s infrastructure bill for raising the national debt to thirty trillion dollars. That money is raised by selling bonds overseas. The U.S. owes the Chinese so much money that every fortune cookie note now reads, This is an Attempt to Collect a Debt.
South Carolina lawyer Michael Murdaugh was shot three times Thursday just weeks after the unsolved murder of his wife and son. He’d just been accused of stealing funds from his law firm. I believe the key to cracking this case will be deducing exactly which ties this family had to the Clintons.
Senator Chuck Schumer and Alexandria Ocasio Cortez and toured hurricane flood damage in New York and called for massive federal spending to end climate change. They insisted that is the only solution. Is there a tax I can pay to stop Covid-19 or does that only work on climate change?
Teamsters Union General President James Hoffa gave a Labor Day speech Monday where he demanded the government protect truckers’ right to organize. Always be nice, polite and wave to the big rig truck drivers you see on the Interstate highways. They know places where nobody will find you.
Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups and organizations around the country. E-mail him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.