Guymon Daily Herald

by Argus Hamilton Cancel Rudolph??? How far will this go?

- Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups and organizati­ons around the country. E-mail him at ArgusJokes@yahoo.com.

HOLLYWOOD--God Bless America, and how's everybody?

A Shreveport TV station is under pressure by Cancel Culture zealots not to air Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. They say it portrays animals as subservien­t to a white man. Next they'll take All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth off the air because it's offensive to the meth community.

Senator Bob Dole was eulogized as a great American who was wounded during World War II and survived to be a great U.S. senator, Majority Leader, and sponsor of the

WW II Memorial. The GOP nominee for president in 1996 who ran against Bill Clinton died on Sunday. Hillary has an alibi.

The U.S. Navy today will commemorat­e the eightieth anniversar­y of the Pearl Harbor attack in Hawaii. We know so much more today. After 45 years of dodging car crashes in the Little Tokyo section of Los Angeles, I think that the kamikaze attacks on U.S. Navy ships might have been accidents.

NBC News says one hundred and thirty Confederat­e statues have been taken down in the past year. We Southerner­s are so canceled our only remaining glory is to buy Dixie paper plates and watch Gone with the Wind once a year on TCM. And we cheer every time Scarlett shoots the Yankee.

CNN fired Chris Cuomo just three days after he'd been suspended for trying to dig up dirt on his brother Andrew Cuomo's office groping accusers when allegation­s surfaced of Chris's own sexual misconduct. His career is finished. He's just been asked to compete on Dancing with the Stars.

Jussie Smollett's trial in Chicago Friday had two Nigerians testifying how he conned them into staging a fake hate crime video with him for a few thousand dollars. It could've made Jussie a rich civil rights hero. One thing I'll say for Jussie Smollett—he's the first American ever to scam Nigerians.

President Biden praised a rap star as a great football player at the Christmas tree lighting. He recently went to the Hall of Presidents in Disneyworl­d and visited the audio-animatroni­c version of himself. The Secret Service still isn't sure if they've brought the right one back to the White House.

The Wall Street Journal forecast record holiday spending in stores and online this year. There is a reported shortage of shopping-mall Santas. So if you want to sit on an old white guy's lap and ask for a lot of free stuff, you'll have to go to the White House and risk catching Joe Biden's cold.

Wisconsin in the wake of the Kyle Rittenhous­e tension must now adjudicate the insane attack by the no-bail released, lifelong felon Darrel Brooks on the Waukesha Christmas parade. He told the judge at his arraignmen­t that he feels de-humanized. That's because CNN keeps calling him a car.

CBS News says the government is still using the Patriot Act for citizen surveillan­ce. The close tabs they keep on conservati­ves is getting scary. I just paid for a twelve-month subscripti­on to the Washington Post and the New York Times, and my bank called me to see if my credit card was stolen.

Anthony Fauci went on the Sunday shows to annoy me, bang the drum for more boosters and declare that three shots ought to do it. Hey, that's Kyle Rittenhous­e's act. A puff of white smoke came from the chimney of the Wuhan Lab in China Saturday, signaling the naming of a new variant.

The New York Post reported Friday that Apple's Special Projects Group is working on Project Titan, in which Apple would produce and get approved a driverless car within three years. Apple making a car driverless is certainly not new. It's been going on ever since they introduced the iPhone.

The London Daily Mail says the EU ordered all twenty-seven member nations to hit the brakes on relaxing Covid rules due to the spread of the Omicron variant. In a shocking reaction that raised eyebrows worldwide, Germany ordered all the unvaccinat­ed to be locked down. I swear he's still alive.

 ?? ?? Argus Hamilton
Argus Hamilton

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