Guymon Daily Herald

Inflation starting to effect wealthy

- JOKES ON THE NEWS By Argus Hamilton

HOLLYWOOD --- God bless America, and how’s everybody?

Billboard quoted Cardi B denouncing the soaring price of groceries in Los Angeles supermarke­ts Tuesday, prompting economists to say her quote shows inflation is beginning to hit the rich. Well, it’s also hitting the funny. I was going to make an egg salad sandwich today but I couldn’t get financing.

Grocery News said grocery inflation held at eleven percent last month despite shortages plaguing the food industry. The grocery store shortages in the last few years bewilder me. Back when Baby Boomers were kids, there was so much toilet paper and eggs we threw them at the houses of our enemies.

National Geographic reports the archaeolog­ical discovery of Scandinavi­an genomes revealing the source of Viking DNA from human remains aboard a sunken Viking ship. We know this much. A thousand years ago, the Vikings arrived in North America, defeated the Detroit Lions and sailed home.

President Biden’s lawyers found the classified documents at his house before they told the DOJ and now the DOJ won’t comment. We may never learn what secret intelligen­ce Biden had stashed on his property. This isn’t normally how a guy who sniffs women’s hair winds up on Unsolved Mysteries.

White House Press Secretary Karine JeanPierre refused all questions about the Biden documents scandal, taking brutal fire. It’s hypocrtici­al. The Biden Administra­tion has a lot of nerve taking down Confederat­e statues while they have Stonewall Jackson holding the line in the White House Press Room.

President Biden was defended by Democrats who say his mishandlin­g of classified documents was not nearly as bad as the way Donald Trump mishandled classified documents. Polls show our two leading presidenti­al candidates committed the same federal crime. This is why we can’t have nice things.

ABC News reported the Consumer Electronic­s Show in Las Vegas unveiled a smart self-pushing and selfbrakin­g baby stroller that leaves both of the baby attendant’s hands totally free. It’s called Ella. It’s just perfect for the young mother who is trying to balance motherhood with a drinking problem.

The National Restaurant Associatio­n says online marketing and delivery service will be vital parts of a restaurant’s business. New restaurant­s are popping up all over Los Angeles. A buddy of mine bought a food truck and parks it next to ChickFil-A when it’s closed on Sundays and calls it Side Chick.

Speaker Kevin McCarthy gave GOP Congressma­n George Santos committee assignment­s despite House outrage over his character Monday. It’s true, George Santos lied on his campaign bio about his education, his work history and his religion. The bad news is, he’s the most honest man in Congress.

The World Economic Forum meeting in Davos, Switzerlan­d, Wednesday featured a bell-ringer of a speech by Al Gore about the dangers of global warming to the future of the planet. In 1948, the year Al Gore was born, there were 40,000 glaciers. Today, 75 years later, only 130,000 glaciers remain.

The San Francisco Chronicle reports that a family of four survived after they skidded off a steep mountain curve and dropped off the cliff in a Tesla. The Tesla flipped twice during the 240-foot fall. They’re so thankful that the extension cord was securely attached or they would have fallen even further.

The San Francisco Reparation­s Advisory Committee urged the SF City Council to agree to pay out five million dollars to every resident of San Francisco who descendant from slavery. My own great-grandfathe­r lost his Alabama plantation when the Yankees seized it in 1865 and freed everybody. I’m not holding my breath waiting to see an attorney on a TV tell me that I may be entitled to compensati­on.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups and organizati­ons around the country. E-mail him at

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