Washington, Lincoln celebrated on President’s Day
BEVERLY HILLS ---God bless America, and how’s everybody?
President’s Day celebrates George Washington and Abraham Lincoln while Americans prepare to choose again between Donald Trump and Joe Biden. I don’t know what ever happened to quality control in this country. America hasn’t completely lost its marbles but there’s definitely a hole in the bag.
Congress passed a unanimous resolution Thursday hailing the Kansas City Chiefs as champions of the NFL. It’s a nice break from the endless headlines about spousal abuse, fraud, bad checks, sexual assault, drug charges and drunken driving arrests. And that’s just the 435 Members of Congress.
A Travel Pulse survey predicts that Americans will spend an average of two thousand dollars each on spring break vacation this year, and with millennial vacationers projected to spend over twice as much. I’m thinking about going to Central America for spring break. That place must be empty by now.
CNN’s Don Lemon asserted that GOP candidate Nikki Haley was past her prime as a woman at the age of fifty-one Wednesday. You’d think he lives in Hollywood. Yesterday at the Polo Lounge, the bartender told Leonardo DiCaprio the Scotch he was drinking is twentyfive years old, and Leo spit it out.
The L.A. Times quoted a Mind Body Wellness index which rated Los Angeles as the fittest city in the U.S. L.A. glorifies a diet, exercise and complexion maintenance regimen that can keep you looking many years younger than you are. People have no idea how old I really am until they hear me stand up.
Santa Monica retail stores are reportedly shuttering along the famous 3rd Street Promenade due to online shopping. Last month, I encountered a Muslim street vendor offering the entire Koran on one audio DVD. I was impressed and asked him to burn me a copy, and that’s when the trouble started.
Richmond put back up a statue of George Washington taken down during the BLM riots. I don’t think Washington’s statue should be taken down because he owned slaves. He overthrew the King of England and gave us the government we have today, and that’s plenty enough reason to take it down.
President Biden bragged he’d just shot down two weather balloons and a hobby club balloon with four sidewinder missiles at four hundred thousand dollars a shot. Don’t you love it? Two years ago America was the World’s Only Superpower, and today we are the most popular attraction on the Midway.
The White House refused to answer why the U.S. shot down three balloons after allowing China’s spy balloon to traverse the U.S.
Thursday. The next day the generals reported to President Biden that another balloon had been shot out of the sky, and Biden had just one question. So who’s the new pope?
President Biden signed an executive order saying that Middle Easterners are no longer classified as white. It’s about time. I’ve had it with people suspecting I planned the World Trade Center attack and Saudis are tired of people mistaking them for Episcopalians and tempting them with top shelf booze.
Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg drew heavy fire from the media for not showing up in East Palestine, Ohio, to help recovery from the train wreck chemical spill. In desperation, to obtain federal money East Palestine just voted to join Ukraine. And in two days the town looks like East Bel-Air.
GOP Member George Santos barricaded himself in his Long Island office as protestors outside and demanded his resignation for his serial lying about his past. He sets the bar on Capitol Hill. Do you know how much of a psychopath you have to be for everybody in Washington to say this guy’s a liar?
Dallas Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott was given the Walter Payton Award at the Super Bowl for his community work. The team gave him a huge long-term contract but he can’t win a big game. Dallas Cowboys fans put their season tickets on their dashboard so they can park in handicapped spaces.