Guymon Daily Herald

King Charles III crowned during coronation ceremony

- JOKES ON THE NEWS By Argus Hamilton EDITOR’S NOTE: Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups and organizati­ons around the country. E-mail him at ArgusJokes@yahoo.com.

LAS VEGAS --God bless America, and how’s everybody?

King Charles III was crowned King of England on Saturday in a beautiful Anglican coronation service in Westminste­r Abbey. Throughout the ceremony he wore a pained expression. I can just imagine how anxious Charles was to get to the bathroom after waiting seventy years to sit on the throne.

King Charles descends from the House of Windsor, German cousins by marriage to the House of Stuart, deposed in 1688 and factored out in 1714.

Yet through a Hamilton marriage in 1487 to the daughter of James II, I descend from the House of Stuart. Just today my dentist told me I need a crown.

London streets were packed Saturday by people anxious to see King Charles and Queen Camilla riding in the horse-drawn gold Royal Carriage from Westminste­r Abbey to Buckingham Palace. Charles and Camilla were not wearing seat belts inside the Royal Carriage. What a nice tribute to Diana.

The BBC covered King Charles’ coronation Saturday by interviewi­ng royalists and anti- royalists alike.

Far left members of the Labor Party complained about the public hysteria over the Royal pomp and pageantry, insisting they hate people who can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Johnny Cash was saluted in the Progressiv­e

Friday citing his radical care for society’s underdogs in the 1969 live recording of his bestsellin­g album Live from Folsom Prison. This nation has come a long way since that landmark event. Life is a lot better for a Boy Named Sue in 2023 than it was in 1968.

President Biden sent 1,500 U.S. troops to deal with the thousands of migrants pouring across the border as

Title 42 expires. It’s sure to be be a hot 2024 campaign issue. President Biden posted no mention of Cinco de Mayo Friday but Donald Trump wished the new arrivals a Happy Cinco-de-Ported.

The White House was hit by a poll Friday saying seventy percent of Americans believe economic conditions are bad in America. Morale is low. Late night I was walking on the Las Vegas Strip and I spotted an old guy wearing a sweat shirt that reads I’m Not Gay—But Twenty Bucks is Twenty Bucks.

Governor Ron DeSantis listed the achievemen­ts of Florida’s just concluded legislativ­e session last week. They were able to ban transgende­r drag shows being held in their grade schools. So now, in first grade classes in Florida schools, they teach kids to remember if she has an apple, she’s a banana.

Sports Illustrate­d noted protests by biological women athletes over losing medals to transgende­r women in cycling, gymnastics, track and swimming. Even a recently crowned Miss Nevada was a trans woman.

She wowed the judges during the talent portion when she spelled her name in the snow.

The Tropicana Hotel on the Las Vegas Strip has me performing in the showroom for six shows early this week for the first time in six months. One change I’ve noticed is that the vibe in Sin City is much mellower now that smoking pot is legal in Vegas. It’s put an end to the All You Can Eat Buffets.

President Biden was praised by speech therapists Friday as an example of how one can overcome stuttering. I have a neighbor in my building who has a severe stutter, but we’re all very supportive of him. The other day by the time he was finished telling us his Nana died, we were all singing Hey Jude.

Donald Trump’s deposition video in the rape case against him in New York taken last October was leaked to the public Friday. The latest polls says ninety percent of Republican­s think Trump is being railroaded. At the same time ninety percent of Democrats wish the railroad was Norfolk Southern.

Russia’s Foreign Ministry blamed the U.S. for backing what Russia claims was a drone attack on the Kremlin in an attempt to assassinat­e Putin.

The Kremlin warned the world Friday that Russia and the United States are close to an armed conflict. I’m not buying a 2024 planner until I see the trailer.

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