PROCESSING ON OUR OWN TERMS
As a dean at the University of Connecticut, I am privileged.
I am privileged to advocate for our future classroom teachers, school leaders, education researchers, and other students at the Neag School of Education who fearlessly aspire to careers across the field of education. I am privileged to work alongside colleagues who care deeply about diversity, equity and social justice. I am privileged to guide our school’s mission to improve educational and social systems to be more effective, equitable and just for all.
Yet as an African American woman, I am conflicted, and I am struggling.
Each of us is processing what is happening in the world right now on our own terms. Some of us prefer to do this alone, reflecting inwardly. Initially, I was one of them. I avoided talking through my feelings with anyone else. I did not consider myself prepared to help other people feel better. I put on my figurative protective armor and took some time to try and catch my breath. I did this despite knowing that, given my position and my race, people might want to hear from me. Despite their needs, I had to take care of self, first.
In taking the time I needed, I thought about my role and what it means to have the privilege of serving as the dean of the Neag School. UConn’s president and provost addressed the university community in a recent statement that was powerful and that does, in fact, capture many of my own sentiments.
Yet it is not sufficient; it is a starting point. Therefore, I am not “off the hook.” None of us is. Such statements do not take action against the ills of anti-black racism; they change very little. If we do nothing, words are meaningless.
We must hold ourselves and one another accountable, and we must consider how we are instilling these ideals in today’s students.
As a black woman, I continue to react viscerally to the unnecessary murder of black men. George Floyd is one in a long list of senseless deaths, among them Amadou Diallo, Sean Bell, Trayvon Martin, Rekia Boyd, Eric Garner, Mike Brown, Tamir Rice, Walter Scott, Freddie Gray, Sam Dubose, Sandra Bland, Philando Castile, Terrance Crutcher, Stephon Clark, Bothan Jean, Atiatan Jefferson, Ahmaud Arbery or Breonna Taylor.
I know of similar situations from my personal experiences, as well as from those recounted by family members and black individuals within my friendship and professional circles. Many of these encounters did not benefit from a recording. The Amy Cooper video impacted me especially forcefully because it demonstrates how race, and in particular blackness, can be clearly and intentionally weaponized. It may be among the first videos to confirm what many people of color have had difficulty explaining to others.
Such experiences occur in public and professional spaces. There is a tacit understanding among certain communities that African Americans are inherently dangerous, lesser than or incompetent. So when such sentiments are expressed, they are affirmed without being checked. This is why the video of George Floyd’s death had such impact. Without it, we can all imagine the officer claiming that he feared for his life and therefore the death was justified.
I am not a diversity scholar. But what I can offer to our students, to my professional and personal networks, and to the larger community is the idea that every one of us has no excuse but to reflect on and consider the ways in which our longheld assumptions may have manifested in our own day-to-day experiences — in the workplace, in the classroom, at the grocery store, on our neighborhood streets and in the park.
Acknowledge the impact of inequities on people of color and consider how your actions (or lack thereof ) may reproduce them. Then commit to do, and be, different. If you see something, say something. Do not wait for or rely on those who are the most vulnerable and most affected to also be the ones to address the inequities that you observe.
Take action — whether that means donating to a cause in support of people of color, peacefully protesting or committing to learning more about issues of diversity, equity and inclusion. Our own faculty members, assistant professors Grace Player and Danielle Filipiak, have put together one powerful set of resources.
Take time to care for yourself. Pause, listen and catch your breath. Then make sure everyone around you can breathe, too.