Thanksgiving far from perfect, but we’re here

There’s a prayer central to Judaism called the Shehecheyanu that seems particularly on point this year. It’s basically a prayer of thanks for being around to say a prayer of thanks. Which may seem like a bit of circular reasoning, but if you pause on the sentiment a moment it makes a lot of sense. You could even call it, if you were so inclined, a mindfulness prayer, a reminder to take nothing for granted.

As if 2020 hasn’t done that already.

This is a year that’s tested us in ways that would have been hard to imagine 12 moths ago. We have suffered losses of friends and family, we have endured a hostile and damaging election, and we have been forced to let go of the simple ties of friendship that bring joy to our days. We are stumbling toward 2021 damaged.

There is no going back.

Anyone who has suffered a loss in their life — and our hearts go out to those who have lost loved ones to the coronavirus — learns that grief doesn’t go away. It changes you, for better in some ways, worse in others. You figure out how to make it part of who you are, how to carry that emptiness around with you in a way that lets you continue pushing forward. But you don’t bounce back. You are changed.

This year has changed us. We have lived through and witnessed unspeakable sadness: wives, husbands and children unable to say final goodbyes in person; lives abruptly cut short; hunger and despair spreading; jobs and businesses lost to economic paralysis. We have missed out on weddings, graduations, anniversaries, birthdays.

We have struggled through a presidential election that has left us divided and angry.

We’ve also seen some amazing things. We’ve seen nurses, doctors, nursing home workers and others put themselves on the front line of the crisis to help others. We’ve seen the generosity of neighbors and friends who’ve reached out to those in need. And we’ve seen a renewed commitment to confronting the longstanding racial fault lines that have long marginalized too many.

For most of us, it can take a lifetime to witness the range of terrors life can bring and another to understand the depth of its wonders. And maybe a third to marvel at the capacity of so many people to find light amid the darkness. Those of us who have lived through 2020 have experienced all that in just nine months. It’s no wonder we are all exhausted.

But, most of all, we are here. Devastated. Grieving. Angry. Frustrated. Impatient. Hopeful. Pessimistic, Optimistic. Grateful. Shehechyanu.

Happy Thanksgving.