O'Rourke, Marita Howard
Marita Howard O'Rourke died peacefully on December 23, 2021 at Amberwoods of Farmington, after a life filled with family, faith, fashion and
fun. She was born May 23, 1930, in Westfield, New Jersey to Jessie (Kentler) and Marshall H. Howard. While Jessie cultivated stage-motherly dreams that her daughter would be the next Shirley Temple, enrolling her in toe, tap and ballet lessons, Marita had other plans. She graduated with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Fashion Design from Chestnut Hill College, where she made life-long friends and excelled as a natural student. She joined Price Waterhouse in New York City upon graduation. During this time, a college friend set her up with a handsome medical resident. Marita, ever graceful, tripped on her way into the party and would forever after laugh at the memory of the first impression she made upon the man who became the love of her life. The budding doctor and the fashion maven married in 1954. He was “Jim” to her and she was “Mike” to him.
The young couple settled in Bethesda, Maryland near Jim's work at the National Institutes of Health and later at Georgetown University. They eventually moved to Farmington where Jim joined the University of Connecticut Medical Center.
Marita loved to throw parties and to include her four kids' college-age friends at the dining room table for long chats over dinner. When conversation flagged, she provoked debate with razor-sharp questions. When not running carpools, volunteering her time to others, and serving as the O'Rourke family's chief operating officer, Marita always had a creative project going. She papered the walls, painted the century-old Farmington house, and refinished and upgraded furniture with shoe polish, her trade secret.
Her real genius was in sewing. She thought nothing of whipping up curtains, bedspreads, or a last-minute St. Patrick's Day shift, or transforming her wedding gown into a first Holy Communion dress worn by each of her three little girls. When the daughters married, Marita designed and sewed their wedding gowns along with the bridesmaid dresses. She held firm opinions on what to wear and when to wear it and could be both witty and withering in her takedowns of fashion trends.
Marita treasured her Catholic faith. She regularly attended weekday morning mass at St. Patrick's Church and defended the church in good times and bad. She remained clear-eyed and direct, though, as when she shook the hand of a visiting bishop and assured him that “I'm praying for you.”
Marita believed that faith is a gift. She celebrated hers and was curious about the faith of others. She said that her faith brought her through the sudden loss of her son Jim as well as the death a few years later of her beloved husband and then her dear brother Marshall. Marita often said that “If I came back again, I'd major in philosophy,” and she relished a good, sustained logical argument. Just ask any of her three sons-inlaw. Up until her final months she was most engaged when talking about life's complexities, and she had a gift for getting to the heart of any matter troubling her husband or children.
She treasured walks with neighborhood friends and hikes up Taine Mountain. She delighted in physical challenge and took pride in mowing her own lawn or ordering dirt, a ton at a time to landscape around the house.
She is survived by her three children and their spouses, Carol and Joe Troiani of Burlington, CT, Beth and Mike Doyle of Arlington, VA and Margaret and Daniel Nowak of Spring, TX, sister-in-law Jeanne Howard of Pebble Beach, CA and eight grandchildren. She was predeceased by her husband Jim, her son Jim and her brother Marshall Howard.
A Funeral Mass will be celebrated at 10:30 a.m., Saturday, May 21, 2022, at the Church of Saint Patrick, 110 Main Street, Farmington. Friends may visit with
the family from 9 a.m. to 10 a.m. in the baptistery. Burial will be after the Mass in Riverside Cemetery, Farmington. Memorial contributions in Marita's name may be made to the American Red Cross where she was a longtime volunteer. Arrangements are being handled by The Ahern Funeral Homes, Inc., www.ahernfuneralhome.com.