Experts: Get to sleep faster by telling yourself a nice, adult bedtime story
Nearly every night for the past nine years, my husband and I have cajoled our daughter into a bath and PJs, read her a bedtime story and tucked her into bed.
A few nights of struggle and exhaustion aside, this has mostly been a pleasure. But at the end of the day, we don’t do it for the snuggles alone. We do it because we think it will help her fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer. That’s good for her development and mood, and also our sanity.
According to pediatricians, we’re right. A hot bath before bed encourages your body temperature to drop, as it naturally does before sleep; a nightly routine sets the mood for sleep; and quiet together time helps a whirring brain switch off.
All promote better sleep. Which is why at least one pediatrician has even recommended that adults modify this traditional childhood bedtime routine for themselves.
You can skip the stuffed animals and footie pajamas if you like, but Dr. Hasan Merali says keeping a steady bedtime, taking a hot shower, and engaging in a quiet activity before bed will help exhausted entrepreneurs sleep better too. But both research and sleep experts suggest perhaps we should add another mainstay of kiddie nighttime routines — the bedtime story.
Adults, tell yourselves bedtime stories
I am not talking about reading a book before bed, though that’s a bedtime activity endorsed by science (and Bill Gates) that research shows can lower stress, quiet your mind, and, as an added bonus, help you be a little smarter and more empathetic. So read away!
But when sleep experts talk about bedtime stories, what they’re referencing is what goes on in your head when you’re lying in bed with the lights out, trying to drift off.
Many parents have discovered that narrating some lighthearted nonsense about funny bears or hungry caterpillars helps their kid conk out. But we adults often try to fall asleep while mentally doing our taxes or rehearsing that big presentation we’re stressed about. As most of us have experienced, that’s the express lane to insomnia.
So why not steal a trick from toddlers and actively tell yourself a soothing bedtime story in your head instead? As you’re not 5 years old, it will probably not involve unicorns or talking animals. Instead, sleep expert Neil Stanley suggested to The Cut recently that you choose your own pleasant but mindless adult reverie.
“The absolute prerequisite for sleep is a quiet mind. Think of something else, rather than what’s worrying you — something with a story to it,” Stanley instructs. “It can be anything of interest, but of no importance, so you can devote some brain energy to it without clashing into the real world and going straight back to your worries. I fly a lot, so I imagine I have my own private jet and how would I arrange the furniture on it. If you’re someone who likes going to music festivals, what would your lineup be?”
The science of what great sleepers think about before bed
His advice makes intuitive sense. Your dream concert is more likely to send you to dreamland than fretting about a massive work project. But it is also backed by science.
When Australian psychologists recently asked volunteers to describe what they thought about before falling asleep, they discovered that those who struggle to sleep are planning and problem-solving in bed. Those who fall asleep quickly mostly have visual imagery in mind — like, for example, the interior of your imaginary private jet.
This finding isn’t just of academic interest. The study’s authors, Melinda Jackson and Hailey Meaklim, note that understanding the pre-sleep thoughts of good versus bad sleepers can actually help you move into the latter camp.
“The good news is there are techniques you can use to change the style and content of your pre-sleep thoughts. They could help reduce nighttime cognitive arousal or replace unwanted thoughts with more pleasant ones. These techniques are called ‘cognitive refocusing,’ ” they write on the Conversation.
Meaning if you actively try to think like a good sleeper, you may actually turn into one. How do good sleepers think? Like toddlers being told bedtime stories. Your parents may have not been at your bedside for decades, but there is no reason you can’t use this insight to fall asleep nearly instantly tonight.