KO graduation
Speaker encourages Kingswood Oxford grads to be mindful of others’ struggles
The 83 graduates of Kingswood Oxford were encouraged to carve out their own paths to happiness and to be mindful of the struggles of others.
WEST HARTFORD – The graduates of Kingswood Oxford were encouraged to carve out their own paths to happiness and to be mindful of the struggles of others — even in the face of high-pressure decisions and expectations — at their commencement ceremony Friday morning.
After filing onto the sunny senior green in pairs, the female students donning white dresses with a bouquet of roses in hand, and their male peers sporting khaki pants and blue blazers, the class of 83 was welcomed to messages of support from several faculty members at the West Hartford high school.
Kathleen DiSanto, a physics teacher on the Trout Brook Drive campus and ’03 alumni, was elected to deliver the official address by the graduating class, and first reflected on her own commencement day experience — and the carefully laid out plans she had for her future on that day.
Among them, DiSanto said she had endeavored to attend Washington University in St. Louis as a pre-med major, marry her “very cute” boyfriend, not have kids because of her anticipatedly busy professional life and become a forensic pathologist. But soon after arriving at college, she said, “the theoretical aspects of my plans hit me like a ton of bricks.”
“My plan was awful,” she said. “It was at this moment, when I was lost and confused, without the guidance of my once beloved steps, that I began to realize that I, me, no one else, am responsible for defining,
seeking and modifying my core happiness.”
And while her path to happiness was “messy and occasionally awful,” DiSanto said this realization was a climactic moment in her life, spurring her to trust her gut when making decisions and electing to do what gave her joy. She urged the class of ’19 to do the same.
“Please know, that from this moment on, you are going to have make a lot of decisions. Small ones, like what kind of ice cream are you feeling like right now. Huge ones, like should I have kids? Go to grad school — yes, no?” she said. “And I encourage you to hold these decisions up to your core, your gut, your values, what you feel deep down, and pick the option that feels right, feels aligned, or my favorite, feels parallel.”
DiSanto, who did end up marrying her high school boyfriend and attending her dream college — but changing almost every other element of her plans as an 18-year-old — also reminded the students that as they progress through life, finding out who they are, those around them are doing the same.
“Not only should you always be checking in with yourself to eliminate the yucky by being aware of, kind to, and compassionate toward yourself, you must do the same for others,” she said. “This whole humanbeing thing is crazy hard, and we are all we have. There is no need to make it harder.”
Thomas J. Dillow, who led Kingswood Oxford as Head of School for the first time this year, touched upon many of the same themes in his charge to the senior class — advising the graduates to slow down, breathe, take care of themselves and pursue happiness.
“As Ferris Bueller said, in his very famous day off, ‘Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around every once in awhile, you could miss it,’” he said. “Don’t miss it.”
And reflecting on the Talking Heads’ ‘Once in a Lifetime,’ in which the rock band asks, “How did I get here?” Dillow told the students that no matter where they end up — or what they end up doing — they have been prepared by Kingswood Oxford to “get there.”
“You will feel the pressure to be successful, to achieve someone else’s version of success,” he said. “Your ability to enjoy the journey and manage trying times will be far easier if you’re enjoying the moment, and not putting too much pressure on yourself as you travel.”