The long road back
John Bysiewicz, triathlete and longtime race director, must learn anew in wake of tragic accident that cost part of his leg: Saying ‘why me?’ won’t help
It was an unusually warm afternoon last Nov. 12 when John Bysiewicz finished up work and decided to go for a bike ride. Bysiewicz, 60, of Branford had directed a 5K road race that morning, one of the many on his JB Sports road race calendar, in Cheshire. A competitive triathlete, he biked a lot and the route he took along Route 146 from Branford to Guilford was one of his regular ones. At around 3:30 p.m., someone passing by saw debris in the road — a bike bag, a cell phone — and stopped, according to the police report. He saw bike parts and then saw Bysiewicz, unconscious in a drainage ditch, according to the report.
Bysiewicz had been hit by a car. He doesn’t remember any of that; he doesn’t even remember the bike ride. He didn’t know that his wife had to make the difficult decision to amputate his lower left leg or he would have risked losing his life. He woke up three days later at Yale New Haven Hospital.
He has been at Gaylord Hospital since late November, trying to adjust to his new normal, life without his lower left leg. He has lost count of how many surgeries he’s had. The surgery the day before Thanksgiving
to rebuild his shattered left elbow was nine hours long. He has metal everywhere in his body, pins in his pelvis, his vertebrae, his right foot. He had surgery on his left hip two weeks ago.
Still, he is fully himself, as much as he can be. He jokes with his physical and occupational therapists. He is sometimes frustrated by the lack of progress because of his many injuries. He rode the recumbent bike the other day for 22 minutes and made it almost a mile, a stark contrast from when he won his age group at an Olympic triathlon he competed in last October.
He wants to be able to ride his bike again and swim and direct road races, including his flagship, the Faxon Law New Haven Road Race, the 20K national championship on Labor Day.
But mostly, he feels lucky to be alive. “I can’t say, ‘Why me?’” Bysiewicz said Thursday. “That’s not going to help me.
“Not to say a year from now I might not say that. I’m sure there’s times I’m going to have a bad day, if I fall in my house, that may trigger something, you never know.”
According to the police report, the operator of the vehicle, R. Neal Stom of Branford, was driving west on Leetes Island Road and crossed over the center line, hitting Bysiewicz on his bike, who was traveling eastbound.
Stom was charged with evading responsibility with serious physical injury and was released on $100,000 bond. His case is pending.
Bysiewicz’s wife, Jenny Glass, got the
“I can’t say, ‘Why me?’ That’s not going to help me. Not to say a year from now I might not say that. I’m sure there’s times I’m going to have a bad day, if I fall in my house, that may trigger something, you never know.” — John Bysiewicz
call that afternoon from the police.
“It was a really nice day in the middle of November and he was like, ‘I got to take the opportunity to go out on my bike,’ ” she said. “It was a relatively new bike that he really liked. He’s not very adventurous with his courses. He rode a course he felt safe on. And this horrible thing happened to him.
“The guy who passed by and found him; he’s a great guy, we’ve met him a couple of times. We’re forever indebted to him.”
When the doctors told her that her husband would have to have his leg amputated or risk death, Glass was devastated. Bysiewicz was a lifelong athlete, running first at Middletown High, then at Uconn, where he was All-big East in track in the 10,000 meters and All-new England in cross country. Ten years ago, arthritis in his left knee limited his running so he switched to triathlons. Runners in the state know him as the director of JB Sports, which holds about 20 road races and walks in Connecticut annually.
Glass called his sisters — one of whom is Lt. Gov. Susan Bysiewicz and had the surgeon speak to them before making the decision.
“He’s handled it much better than I would have imagined,” Glass said. “It was so unimaginably devastating. He spent his life being physically fit.
“I was just worried about taking something away from him.”
After Bysiewicz woke up, he realized what his wife had gone through. Visiting hours were over and she had already gone home.
“I called her up and I said, ‘Jenny, I forgot to tell you how happy I am you did what you did,’ ” Bysiewicz said.
He’s a pragmatic person, much like his father, Stanley Bysiewicz, who died in 2019 at age 96.
“I don’t know the guy’s name who hit me,” Bysiewicz said. “I don’t want to know. That anger isn’t going to help me walk any faster.
“I think I got that from my dad. My dad was in World War II. He was a navigator and bombardier. He got the plane to where it needed to be, pressed the button and probably witnessed a whole lot more than I’ve ever wanted to witness in my life. But he was able to put that behind him. He never got angry at any of us.
“I have to do the best I can with the situation that is with me now.”
He’s working on walking on the prosthetic leg. He does a Zumba class, he bikes on the recumbent bike, lifts weights and has occupational and physical therapy sessions daily. His physical therapist, Paula Savino, said his athletic background has helped him recover but she has to keep reminding him he’s not training for a race.
“That’s been my biggest challenge,” Savino said. “I’ve been trying to say that even being a turtle is advantageous.”
Bysiewicz knows, but he can’t resist tweaking his therapist.
“I know I have to do what I can and be patient,” he said. “But does the turtle ever win? The people who are fastest always win the race.”
Savino rolled her eyes.
“I would like to bike, I would like to swim, I don’t know if I can run,” he said. “They’re telling me I can. I’m a long way from that but I’m a lot further along than I was a month ago, or even a week ago.
“I think by doing the biking, walking every day, trying to get a little better, trying to put a little bit more weight on it every day — I’d love to walk out of here.”
“I would like to bike, I would like to swim, I don’t know if I can run. They’re telling me I can. I’m a long way from that but I’m a lot further along than I was a month ago, or even a week ago. I think by doing the biking, walking every day, trying to get a little better, trying to put a little bit more weight on it every day — I’d love to walk out of here.” — John Bysiewicz