Generous offer of rides turns into headache HOROSCOPES

Dear Amy: About five months ago, my friend “Stacy” fell on some hard times. I offered her rides to her job so that she could save up for another car, as her transmission went kaput.

Stacy has been very good with reciprocating favors, contributing gas money, buying us groceries, etc. Reciprocation isn’t my issue. But my husband and I seem to have become her permanent taxi service. Now it includes rides to the store and errands related to her job.

I just learned that Stacy is going on a week’s vacation to visit a friend. I stated that she would need Uber to get to her friend’s place because my husband won’t do inner-city driving.

I’m all about helping someone for a temporary period of time, but now I feel like my whole life revolves around Stacy’s needs for transportation. Now that she is going on vacation, it occurs to me that she could have had a replacement car by now.

I don’t want to lose a friendship, but I want our lives back! What’s the nicest way to end our taxi service?

— Tired of Driving in Ohio

Dear Tired: You might start with a question: “How’s your search for a new car coming?” No matter how “Stacy” responds, say: “I’m giving you a heads-up, here. We’ve been happy to help you out, but it’s been six months now, and our transportation help is going to stop at the end of the month.”

You should not have to invent an excuse or a reason

Aries (March 21-April 19): Holding back a secret could get awkward. Consider the possibility that you’re making the situation more complicated than it has to be. Don’t get lost in endless details. Just give your listeners what they need to know to move forward.

Taurus (April 20-May 20):

Your community may really inspire you at this time. The hard part might be figuring out how much of your own resources you can afford to channel toward the group’s goals. Your desire for comfort is probably at a high too. Balancing all these factors can actually make you a better overall advocate.

Gemini (May 21-June 20):

The world may idealize your current self and see you in an unrealistically positive light. This could be a little uncomfortable for you. You might as well use your moment to share your personal view of the whole story. Revealing your human side can make you more relatable.

Cancer (June 21-July 22):

You think you’re obligated to suppress your own desires in order to make someone else happy. Life doesn’t necessarily have to be a zero-sum game where one person wins and the other loses. Tap into your self-worth. Your leadership on this issue is probably more consequential than you think. for this, but it might help you to keep a statement in your pocket: “We hope you can find a working vehicle. If you find one you’d like to look at, we’d be happy to take you to a car lot.”

It sounds as if your town has people who use their cars for “ride hailing” purposes. This might work for Stacy until she can get another car.

Dear Amy: I have a friend, “Julia,” whom I’ve known for over 20 years. We live hundreds of miles apart, and so we stay in touch by email since Julia never answers her telephone.

I enjoy staying in touch with friends, and I talk about both my successes and my failures. We are all getting older, and good and bad things happen.

I try to be a good listener to my friend Julia, through all of her ups and downs, but Julia is mostly a negative, bitter person who finds fault with everyone. I rarely hear her say anything good.

I’m getting the impression that she expects people to cater to her, but doesn’t reciprocate. Friendship is a two-way street. It’s not all about one person.

Over the years, I’ve noticed that Julia is not interested in hearing about anything good in my life. Nothing! The bad things I tell her about seem to make her happy and the good things are met with resounding silence.

What kind of a person isn’t happy for a friend who is having a happy life? Is this just jealousy?

I’m having my doubts whether Julia is truly a friend, or if I’m just wasting my time. What’s your

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): Finding the right current boundaries as you socialize could be difficult. You may enjoy a growing sense of group camaraderie. However, not everyone is approaching the situation in the same spirit you are. Avoid any disclosures that can be used against you.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

The pursuit of your goals could currently be at a high point. You might be worried that the intensity of your efforts will spoil a personal relationship. Drawing tighter boundaries between your public and private worlds can help. Parts of your personality will be best served by growing separately.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

Slacking off to do something fun with your friends may, for once, be worth it. Although you can see the value of your responsibilities, your desire for adventure could leave you unable to focus. There’s a strong social element to this longing as well—so don’t feel guilty about embracing it.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

You might be in a creative and playful mood today. Unfortunately, you can’t necessarily convince the people you’re close with to share it. They may be focused on a heavy or uncomfortable topic. Still, you could potentially ease their burden by doing tasks for them. Ask what would be helpful. opinion?

— Frustrated Friend

Dear Frustrated: “Julia” is demonstrating how schadenfreude fuels her relationships. Schadenfreude is defined as taking pleasure from the misfortunes of others.

You might be wasting your time trying to keep this relationship alive, but before you exit, you might describe Julia’s behavior and the impact on you. She might not quite realize the loop she is circling.

The opposite of schadenfreude is freudenfreude (yes, it’s a thing!), which is taking pleasure from the good things that happen to others. Expressing freudenfreude can actually boost your mood.

Ask Julia to share a good thing from her recent life. Respond by expressing your delight. Tell her, “Yes — that felt good!”

Dear Amy: “In Need of a Pet” was looking for advice about whether to adopt a cat or a dog. You should have advised this person to volunteer at the local shelter! At the very least, In Need should foster before adopting.

— Animal Lover

Dear Animal Lover: “In Need of a Pet” described having extreme social anxiety, so I’m not sure if volunteering would be realistic, but I agree that fostering before adopting is a great way to help animals and to also gain experience.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

You have ideas about what would make your home comfortable. The messy part could be getting someone you share space with to agree with them! You might be caught up in your own hype. Spend your day by yourself, reveling in the purity of your vision.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

Smoothing over a conflict may be a high priority for you today. However, the other person is likely to become even more agitated if they suspect you’re not giving them answers. The tension isn’t about the questions they’re asking. Give them the open exchange they’re looking for.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

Feeling good about your finances could goad you into spending extra money on your hobbies and other fun things at present. You’ll likely be able to explain the need for this expenditure to your partner. Do what you must, but be sure to keep your overall budget in mind.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20):

You can likely use your charm to get what you want at the moment. On the other hand, any insecurities that tell you such a shallow approach is your only option could be making you less effective. When you’re confident you’ve truly earned your spoils, you can enjoy them with gusto.