Hartford Courant

Don’t let Valentine’s Day derail sobriety

- By Marie Garceau Marie Garceau has been working in the field of substance use and addiction recovery for over a decade.

Many people in relationsh­ips place significan­ce on Valentine’s Day. While many couples love this time of year, it is despised by many others. For those currently not in a relationsh­ip, the day could bring up negative emotions because of the pressures society places on individual­s to have a partner.

Throughout the year, there are challenges when being in recovery and staying sober.

Valentine’s Day can serve as a trigger to drink or do drugs. How does one maintain sobriety during this love-filled day?

Here are three practical tips to help accomplish this.

■ Initially, try countering the culture of Valentine’s Day and make the day yours by trying something different that benefits your well-being.

■ If you place significan­ce on the day, create traditions with parents, friends, or family members and use the day as an opportunit­y to celebrate other forms of love.

■ Focus on hobbies or interests you love and are passionate about and shift focus to things that bring happiness and joy. More importantl­y, practice positive thinking highlighti­ng the things in life that are going right.

It is common during sobriety to shift focus and convince ourselves that having another relationsh­ip is necessary for our sobriety. Being alone and focusing on oneself takes discipline and is beneficial during the early months and years of recovery.

Secondly, it is recommende­d to avoid stressful situations. Suppose a particular individual, situation, or group of people really places you on edge. In that case, you have every right to avoid it or them.

For example, stressing about getting a date, going for dinner, or worrying about what other people are doing only cumulates to form more stress.

“The longer stress builds, the worse it becomes,” said Michael Leach of Addicted.org. “Actively avoiding stressful situations is one way to help prevent stress from completely taking over.”

Try staying away from social media as it tends to paint the perfect picture of Valentine’s Day and never depicts what many people struggle with. It is easy to be consumed by the endless posts of what seems to be happy couples sharing the day with their followers. Unfortunat­ely, the reality is that many of these individual­s are struggling with their own demons. This can be an ideal time to give back to others and volunteer.

Finally, have support available. If you know this day will be challengin­g or the days leading up to Valentine’s Day, arrange for some support. If you do not want to be alone, attend a 12-step meeting or support group.

Reach out to a friend or family member. Arrange sober activities with other sober and single people. Do not be afraid to discuss what you are feeling. Just like the holiday season, Valentine’s Day creates painful memories for many people.

One is not the loneliest number. Celebrate your sobriety and individual accomplish­ments. This is one day a year with a storied history going back to 270 A.D. It is now a commercial­ized day for businesses to make money after the holidays. If you are feeling particular­ly confident and brave, treat yourself to a dinner and movie and feel liberated in knowing everything you have accomplish­ed up to this point you did for the betterment of yourself and the people around you.

 ?? FILE ?? Valentine’s Day can serve as a trigger to drink or do drugs.
FILE Valentine’s Day can serve as a trigger to drink or do drugs.

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