Transgender Day of Visibility time of celebration, reflection
Just as the trans community was preparing to mark its latest Transgender Day of Visibility on Friday, current events gave what is intended as a celebratory awareness event a stark new context.
Some coverage of the school shooting in Nashville, Tennessee, centered around the gender identity of the shooter, whom news reports initially identified as female but later clarified as using he/him pronouns. This led to allegations about motive, mental health and trans people in general. Some of the more alarmist suppositions were based on discriminatory stereotypes. Nashville police have said they do not yet have a motive for the shooting.
The International Trans Day of Visibility, held every year on March 31, was started in 2009 to complement the only previously widely recognized day of recognition for trans people, the Trans Day of Remembrance, held in November. The day of remembrance mourns trans people who’ve been murdered.
The basic existence of the Trans Day of Remembrance, and the fact that a day of mourning existed for a decade before a day of celebration did, demonstrates that the community has constant reason to feel scared, targeted and misunderstood. Bullying and discrimination are commonplace regarding trans individuals.
Those who’ve seen the growth of trans awareness over the past 15 years or so note that there’s still a lot of work to be done. Celebratory events still bring fears of reprisals or violence, so many trans events are not widely publicized. The basic work of building respect and recognition is ongoing.
“Every time we’re doing our training session, people there say they don’t think they know anybody who’s trans,” said Tony Ferraiolo, “and I say ‘You do now,’ and they’re surprised. But being visible as a trans person is a double-edged sword. I am
humbled and I have this privilege. I look like a straight guy. But for some of us, being visible can be deadly. Sometimes it’s dangerous to be out.”
Ferraiolo is the director of the LGBTQ+ Youth and Family program at Health Care Advocates International, a Stratford-based health provider which does international health treatment and advocacy work in the LGBTQ+ community. He has worked at HCAI for three years but has been a trans activist for decades and runs several groups for trans youth and their families.
“I’m also a certified life coach,” he said. “I use that as part of the job.”
Ferraiolo also sees privilege in being able to live and work in Connecticut, a state which added “gender” to its anti-discrimination legislation and is a national safe haven for gender-affirming care.
“We have welcomed families from Texas,” Ferraiolo said, naming a state with anti-trans legislation. “They may come here with no place to live or work but they know they need to leave where they’ve been. I’m so grateful to be at Health Care Advocates. We can reach so many communities. We give people hope when they are hopeless.”
He cited statistics gathered by the suicide-prevention organization, The Trevor Project, that 45% of LGBTQ youth have seriously considered suicide in the past year. For trans youth, the number is even higher.
“The more hate is put toward this community, the more states saying ‘We’re not going to allow trans youth to have the medical affirming cure that they need that every major medical association in the U.S. says they need,’ the more of that is going to cause people to have no hope,” Ferraiolo said. “And we know when somebody doesn’t have any hope, they won’t have the hope to live. All those statistics are going to go up.
“Even when they’re protected, they’re still not being affirmed,” he added. “You can pass all the laws and policies you want, and people want to uphold them. Yet basic issues of ignorance, misunderstanding and prejudice persist. The Day of Visibility brings all of this to light.”
Among the misperceptions, he said: “Gender identity and sexual orientation are not the same thing.” Also, if you’re transgender, you’re not non-binary. He wishes that cisgender and binary people would just say “I may not understand, but …” rather than jumping in with false impressions.
Ferraiolo is keen to hear all sides of the issues. At one open meeting he moderated, a demonstrably homophobic woman spoke at length. “She was very angry. I couldn’t change it. She didn’t think I would let her speak, but I told her that having different views doesn’t mean we have to hate each other.”
In response to the Nashville shooting, the National Center for Transgender Equality in Washington, D.C., issued a statement saying the organization “grieves alongside The Covenant Presbyterian School community and those who have been harmed by yet another senseless act of violence,” The center also noted that this was the 130th mass shooting in the United States in 2023, and over 100 people are killed by a firearm each day.
“As the investigation ensues, more details surrounding this tragedy will be revealed in the coming days and weeks. Regardless of the perpetrator’s identity, it is important to understand that one person’s actions do not reflect an entire community. Statistically, we know that transgender and non-binary people are far more likely to be the victims of violence, rather than perpetrators.”
“That is, simply said, exactly the way I feel,” Ferraiolo said. “My heart is breaking for everyone involved, but again, what they’ re going to do is focus on the trans. Any other person who has done something bad like this, they don’t focus on their gender identity.”
The Trans Day of Visibility has increased in visibility year after year. In 2021, 2022 and this year, President Joe Biden has publicly acknowledged the day.
Locally, some churches are holding events on Friday, including a 7 p.m. service at the Enfield Congregational Church.
The New Haven Pride Center is hosting an event on Friday at 7 p.m. at the Blue Orchid restaurant at 130 Court St. in New Haven. There will be guest speakers and the audience is welcome to stay afterward to watch the latest episode of “Rupaul’s Drag Race.”
Many colleges in the state have been holding trans awareness events all this week.
“With Trans Day of Visibility, we do celebrate, but we also bring awareness to discrimination and violence that this community faces,” Ferraiolo said. “It’s not all parades, balloons and rainbows.
“It’s not like Trans Day of Remembrance where there are events all over, with people mourning and honoring. This is more of an individual thing. People who can be visible are visible. It’s also a day when we call for our cisgender allies to also be visible for us. The day shouldn’t change. If anything, it might entice people who might be saying ‘Should I stand up or should I not stand up?’
It might make them stand up a little bit taller to say ‘This is who I am’ and that one person does not reflect an entire community. Now that it’s more public, the people that might have sat silent before are now being verbal.”
Yet setbacks seem as frequent as progress.
“It’s a one step forward, two steps back kind of thing,” Ferraiolo said. “But this is when we can see the people who have shifted and who see that trans people are OK and stop doing this to them. It’s not the same as it was when I came out 19 years ago. There was barely anybody to turn to to say ‘Help!’ Nobody knew trans, nobody wanted to support trans, but now you have corporations that have policies about trans employees, you have school systems that have policies about transgender and non-binary students. A lot of things have changed. What hasn’t changed is the hate.
“I have to remember that there are so many people in the community who have no choice but to be visible,” he said. “I feel it’s a privilege just to be able to walk the street as me without anybody attacking me or hurting me or trying to kill me because I’m trans.”
On Friday, Ferraiolo said he’ll be thinking and talking about what’s happening in the U.S. right now with bans on trans treatment.
“This is a day for those of us who can speak to speak loudly on behalf of the trans community,” he said. “We need to do that this year more than ever. Here’s how I Iook at it. If any other community was treated the way the trans community is being treated, you’d know about it.”
That doesn’t mean he expects to see rallies or parties in the streets.
“This day is for individuals. We show up, we say who we are. It takes a village, and we are dedicated to helping that village grow.”