What would your horse’s dating-app bio be?

Amy Lovell Gagne My name is Jack. I’m a simple guy who likes to hang out in the pasture, but I don’t like to work out—cantering really isn’t my thing.

Angie Stafford My name is Fatty, and I’m into yoga and deep-tissue stretching. I’m selfish and will refuse to give you anything in return for your affections. And I will steal all of your food.

Niki Welchel A sense of humor is a must! I enjoy slow walks without human luggage, because riding is overrated. Basically, I’m fabulous.

Teresa Wardrip-Keeton They call me Foxy. If you don’t like my personality, just wait five minutes and it’ll change. I like short, slow walks, as long as there are no plastic bags or yard-sale signs around. I’m a senior citizen but can still get feisty if you come near my food.

Terri Hatcher Tall, dark, and handsome. I can’t go anywhere without my fans coming over and caressing me. Life with me is well-fed, therapy-filled, and lots of love. I’m a barrel horse who enjoys grandchildren and obstacle courses!