Fender bender? Red Light guy to the rescue
A few weeks ago, I wrote a column about the “Red Light Body Shop Guy.”
He pulled up next to me at a traffic signal, pointed to my dented right fender, and said, “Want me to fix it? I’ll give you a good price.” Yeah? How much? “I’ll do the fender and the dent under your door for $250.”
I had been given bids from $500 to “you need a new fender” from repair shops.
So right there, on the side of a side street, he fixed the dented fender. He crawled under my car with a small blowtorch and massaged the fender with healing hands. And he didn’t ask for more money halfway through. It was like I sent my car to Lourdes. Ten minutes tops, he was done. He did an excellent job. I examined the fender, gave it a good wiggle, it looked fine, and he left.
I didn’t hear from him again. It was sort of odd. Now when you buy something, it’s like marrying into the family. I bought a belt online from Macy’s, now I get two emails a day from them. I took a flight on United, now they keep asking me to go on vacation with them. I bought a candy bar from CVS, now I’m their pen pal.
I started getting emails from readers, including a city councilmember … can you hook me up with the “Red Light Body Shop Guy?”
I had no idea where to find him. He just appeared on the corner, out of nowhere, like a superhero … or the guy waving a sign saying “$$$ We Buy Gold $$$”
Until a few days ago, when he contacted me. He wanted to thank me for the column I wrote about him. A few people put 2 and 2 together when he approached them about fixing a dent … “Are you the guy from Ken Hoffman’s column?”
I told him, buddy, there’s more where that came from.
His name is Luke Adams. His email is fendermender123@yahoo.com. Here’s his deal. He does
on-the-spot auto body repairs. He specializes in plastic bumpers, rust, dents and scratches. His work is 100 percent guaranteed. If you don’t like the job, you don’t pay. He will come to your home, office, gym — anytime, anywhere.
Most important, Adams is licensed and insured in Texas since 1992. Today’s trivia
Movies starring Russell Crowe won back-to-back Oscars for Best Picture in 2000 and 2001. Can you name them? Tighty whities (briefs)
The Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo starts this week, and, like every year, we’re wondering what bizarre carny food items will be available on the midway. In recent years, we’ve experienced the joys and burps of Deep Fried Beer, Deep Fried Butter, Deep Fried Coca-Cola and Bacon Cotton Candy.
I’m not supposed to leak what’s in store for you gluttons of intestinal punishment, but imagine …
What if you took a big fat kosher pickle, bore a hole in it, then stuffed a hot dog in that hole, then plopped the whole thing in cornmeal batter and deepfried it? Here’s the sickest part of this frightening food fantasy … I think it might taste pretty good.
1Last year, I went to taste-test McDonald’s Mighty Wings, and the sign in the window said, “New Mighty Wings 3 for $2.99.”
I thought that meant $2.99 for three wings, fries and a soda.
And I still thought that was a little pricey.
Wow! It was just three wings. Nothing else. That’s a buck a wing. That’s more than Hooters sell wings for, and the lady at McDonald’s doesn’t sign your check with a heart around her name.
CyNdi (correct spelling, according to her Hooters name tag) does that only for me.
Mighty Wings didn’t fly out the door at McDonald’s. It’s not because the wings weren’t good — they were. Actually, very good. They were meaty and huge and crunchy with lots of breading. They just cost too much.
According to reports, sales of Mighty Wings came up 10 million pounds short. McDonald’s kept them on ice, and now they’re back … at a much lower price, five for $3. Not cheap, reasonable.
1Here’s something I don’t understand. I listen to sports talk radio and hear fans say, “I won’t mind if the Rockets bring Jeremy Lin back, but not for $15 million a year.” Or they’ll say, “It would be great if we got Carmelo Anthony, but only if he’s willing to sign for less than the maximum.” Huh? Why do you care how Rockets owner Les Alexander spends his money? He doesn’t care that you can’t watch Rockets games on TV, so who cares if he blows starter money on bench talent?
1Enrollment for the MS150 charity bike ride from Houston to Austin stands at 11,000-something. They’re hoping for 12,000 riders, so hurry up and register at bpms150. net. The weekend pedal-pusher is scheduled for April 12-13.
They’re hoping for 12,000. I’m hoping for 13,000. I haven’t thrown myself entirely behind this ride in a few years. Everybody get your rear end off the couch and on a bicycle. Let’s move it.
I am in my fifth week of hardcore training. I’ve already got a new, extra comfortable bike seat (Week 1), made reservations for lunch at the Dairy Queen in Bellville (Week 2), created a special MS150 playlist on my iPod — lots of Jimmy Buffett and Bob Marley (Week 3), and last week, I arranged for a friend to pick me up in Austin if I cross the finish line. Next week, I plan to put air in my bicycle tires.
Kidding — I’ve been riding a lot (for me) lately. I’ll be ready.
1What was the frail, bald old guy from the Six Flags commercial doing on WWE’s Monday Night Raw last week? Wait a minute, my bad. That was Hulk Hogan, returning to the WWE to host Wrestlemania 30, April 6, in New Orleans. Trivia answer
“Gladiator” was named Best Picture in 2000. “A Beautiful Mind” won in 2001. Crowe won the Oscar for Best Actor in 2000. He was nominated again in 2001 but lost to Denzel Washington, who won for “Training Day.”