Oldest daughter wants to avoid celebrating dad’s newest child
Dear Abby:
My father is expecting his seventh child with his current “fiancee.” I am the oldest of six girls; this child is expected to be a son. His fiancee is 11 years my junior — 33 years younger than my father.
I recently started a family and have two children younger than 2. For various reasons, I am fed up with playing nice regarding my father’s relationships and irresponsible behavior.
They are having a baby shower for the expectant parents, and I don’t want to attend. My husband thinks I am wrong because I can’t muster up the spirit that a baby shower is supposed to evoke. I think I’m being smart for not bringing my funky attitude. Should I attend?
Oldest Child
Dear Oldest:
I don’t know how your siblings feel about this impending birth, but try to remember that showers are intended to celebrate the new life that’s coming into the world. This isn’t about whether you approve of your father’s behavior or his choice of women. If he is as irresponsible as you say, that poor little boy will need all the help and emotional support he can get in the future.
If you opt not to attend, it may drive a wedge between you and your father, so I’m voting with your husband. Go with your siblings, be pleasant and leave your funky attitude at home because if you don’t, the person you will be isolating is yourself. Dear Abby:
What is it with people? My mother-in-law, “Ellen,” passed away last Thursday. Even before her viewing, a neighbor informed us — through Ellen’s attorney — that Ellen had given her a wicker patio set that the neighbor hadn’t taken, but had told Ellen to use as long as she wanted. Then at the church, before the funeral service, another friend told us Ellen had intended to donate some used items to a charity, implying that we are obligated to do the same.
Don’t people have manners any longer?
Offended in Ohio Dear Offended:
Your letter illustrates why it is so important for everyone to put their wishes in writing before departing. While I agree with you that the timing was insensitive, the people involved may have wanted to be sure you were aware of Ellen’s intentions before you disposed of the items.
Before distributing any of your mother-in-law’s effects, this is something you should first discuss with her lawyer.