Bride has sensible advice for future mother-in-law

Dear Miss Manners:

A friend’s future daughter-in-law will not allow her to know the color theme for the wedding. My friend has asked her several times what color would she like her to wear.

All the bride says is, “Wear whatever you are comfortable in.”

Well, she has invested in two dresses. The first is going to be too warm to wear to an outdoor wedding in the South. The second is an ivory/ cream color, and she has been told that color is inappropriate. Is it true that that color is inappropriate? Gentle Reader:

Is it your friend’s hope that she can turn this sensible and considerate young lady into a bossy, detail-obsessed bride?

Dressing her prospective mother-in-law is not the bride’s responsibility. Many who attempt it discover that it is not conducive to warm family relationships.

Nor does a wedding require a “theme,” other than marriage.

Your friend should not be investing in clothes that are unsuitable for the weather. She should wear something dressy that she likes. And while it is not customary for others to wear the same shade as the bridal dress, Miss Manners is confident that the bride in question will not go to pieces worrying that people will confuse the two of them. Dear Miss Manners:

I will be throwing my son a “going to college” party. Is it tacky to register for gifts and put the stores on the invitations? Gentle Reader:

Have you been besieged by people asking you what your son would like to have at college?

Presumably, these would be people whose children you help support. Even so, Miss Manners advises you to answer them individually when they beg to know what to contribute rather than pressuring others by distributing solicitations.