Cake blowout dampens mood

Dear Abby:

I am sometimes invited to friends’ birthday parties and, while I enjoy the celebration, I have one hang-up. When it’s time to blow out the candles, sometimes my friends will blow real hard or even need more than one breath. (We’re not exactly spring chickens.)

To me, this is the equivalent of spitting all over the cake, and I can’t bring myself to eat any after this display.

What is a nice way of saying, “I don’t want any cake?” I don’t want to be a… Party Pooper

Dear Party Pooper:

Mention your “quirk” to your friends long before their birthdays roll around. You could also set an example when your birthday arrives by serving cupcakes. Many people avoid the problem in this way — and the portions are perfect.

Dear Abby:

My handsome, intelligent, physically fit husband looks much younger than his age. But he is vain and won’t get hearing aids. Because he can’t hear, he stands looking at people with a faraway expression on his face that makes him appear like he has dementia. It takes him a while to process the spoken word. He has gotten angry with me because he couldn’t understand something I was saying.

Any tips on how to deal with this? I’m ready to quit trying to have a conversation with him. He could easily afford hearing aids.

End of My Rope in Oklahoma

Dear End:

What’s going on is not only not good for your relationship with your husband but extremely isolating for him. Discuss your concerns with your family physician. Perhaps if the doctor suggests he have his hearing checked by an audiologist, your husband will be less likely to tune the message out. Advances in hearing aids are being made all the time, and some of them fit into the ear canal and are hard to detect.

Dear Readers:

Today I am wishing a very happy Mother’s Day to moms everywhere — birth mothers, adoptive and foster mothers, stepmothers and grandmothers who are raising grandchildren. My heartfelt applause to you all for what you do every day.

Love, Abby