Bullet the bison’s home isn’t on the range
Woman searching for new owner for beloved thousand-pound house pet
ARGYLE — Bullet the bison likes to spend her days rolling in the mud, lounging in the shade and walking around the house … and through the door, and down the hallway. Her owner, Karen Schoeve, doesn’t mind. It can be a nuisance sometimes, but Bullet is house-trained, so long as she doesn’t track mud inside.
Bullet tends to do what she wants in the house. At 1,000 pounds, it’s hard to get her to do otherwise.
“Scary? No, she’s not scary,” Schoeve said. “She’s got a great personality.”
The bison likes staring at Schoeve’s fish tank, which can make her owner nervous. Last week, she ate the Mother’s Day flowers in Schoeve’s room, which made her owner none too happy. Charlie, Schoeve’s terrier, likes to bark at Bullet from the second-floor landing and paw at her nose, and Bullet pays him no mind.
But it’s almost time for Bullet to leave the house, for good this time. Two months ago, Schoeve put an ad on Craigslist: “TAME/HOUSEBROKEN BUFFALO COW — $5,950.”
“Cash only,” she wrote. “No trades.”
‘She deserves the best’
After five years with Bullet, Schoeve is getting ready to say goodbye. She’s a Texas Master Naturalist and used to work as a wildlife rehabilitator, so she says she knows how to give a wild animal a good life. As hard as it is to part ways, she knows Bullet needs a new home.
“She needs more space,” Schoeve said, tearing up. “I’ve tried to keep it up. I’ve tried to live the dream. I just … I can’t.”
Before she came to live with Schoeve, Bullet lived with another couple who likely raised her to walk inside. That couple had a bull bison calf as well, but as the bull got older he got more aggressive. They de- cided to keep the male and sell young Bullet in 2011.
At that time, Schoeve and her now ex-husband were making big plans for an Old West vacation spot and sustainable living center in Ranger. They bought an 1880’s bordello and filled it with antique furniture. They bought an old U.S. Marshal wagon, about 30 horses and Bullet the bison.
But their big plans fell apart, Schoeve said. She left her husband in 2014 and took the livestock with her. That’s when Bullet had to downsize.
Today, they live on 3 acres in Argyle, across from a golf course and country club. Bullet lives a happy life, rolling in the mud and hanging out in her paddock with two paint ponies, Deuteronomy and Bam-Bam. In the evenings, Bullet lounges in the shade with Schoeve and sneaks inside for a tour of the house whenever she can.
But Schoeve knows it can’t last. She works fulltime as a court reporter and can’t spend all day taking care of her little herd. She’s been slowly selling off the horses, making sure they have a good home. Now, it’s Bullet’s turn.
“I’m working and feeding animals and working and feeding animals. It’s just been hard for me to keep up,” Schoeve said. “The best thing for me is to get everybody a good home, especially Bullet, because she deserves the best.”
Bullet gets out of her pen easily, Schoeve said. Once, she snuck out in the middle of the night, and Schoeve had to call the police to help track her down. Another time, when Schoeve was out of town, Bullet wandered to the golf course across the street.
But Bullet takes care of herself well. Schoeve will clean her eyes and nose and help the bison shed her thick winter coat, but Bullet stays healthy, and she’s never had to call the vet. Schoeve says it’s part of Bullet’s genetics.
“She’s good, hardy stock,” Schoeve said. “They live on the open range. They’re hardy animals, unlike those sissy longhorns.”
Wild and beloved
Bullet isn’t the only house-bison. A handful of friendly bovines have made headlines over the years. In 1876, legendary cattleman Charles Goodnight rescued a small herd from slaughter, allegedly raising some as pets, helping to protect the species from extinction.
Ever since, people have raised bison for preservation, slaughter and, yes, even for companionship.
“Yes, it’s possible. Is it a good idea? Those people who have done it think that it is,” said Cecil Miskin, president of the Texas Bison Association. “We continually advise people that bison are wild. It’s difficult to breed the wild out of them.”
The American bison now stands along with the bald eagle as a national symbol. Earlier this month, President Obama signed into law the National Bison Legacy Act, which designates the bison as the official mammal of the United States.
“No other indigenous species tells America’s story better than this noble creature,” Rep. Lacy Clay, a Missouri Democrat who sponsored the bill, said in a statement recently. “The American bison is an enduring symbol of strength, Native American culture and the boundless western wildness.”
Miskin said he has raised some bison calves by hand but has always turned them out to the herd when old enough. He said the association gets weekly calls from people interested in raising bison as pets but doesn’t recommend it.
Bison, although beloved, can be very dangerous, especially in the wild. In Yellowstone, for example, bison-related injuries far outnumber the injuries from any other animal. The increase in selfie culture has been especially problematic, causing a spike in the number of gorings in recent years.
“That’s why people shouldn’t mess with buffaloes, but Bullet’s a dog,” Schoeve said. “She doesn’t have a mean bone in her body.”
Bullet’s temperament isn’t unique among bovines. Courtney Daigle, an assistant professor of animal welfare at Texas A&M, said studies have been done recently to train Canadian dairy cows to do their business outside, for example, to minimize manure mess. But housetraining a full-grown bison? That’s an ungulate of a different color.
“In my house? I probably wouldn’t prefer it,” Daigle said. “It’s not unheard of … There’s always a risk when you have an animal in your house, but there’s a risk when you have a dog in your house or a cat in your house of getting scratched or bitten.”
Splitting the mini-herd
Daigle said wild buffalo roam in maternal groups with males that move from herd to herd — the original bachelors of the Old West. That’s likely why Schoeve and Bullet have developed such a strong bond, she said. The two of them make up their own mini-herd.
That bond is part of the reason Schoeve is so set on finding the right fit for Bullet. For better or worse, the bison was domesticated long before she lived with Schoeve. To turn her out to pasture with a wild herd would be even more irresponsible than keeping her in Argyle, Schoeve said.
“It’s the way she came. It’s the way she is,” Schoeve said. “She doesn’t need more buffaloes, she doesn’t need to be with cattle.”
She’s had offers from petting zoos, roadside attractions, Californians and Texans. She even had someone suggest Ted Nugent’s ranch as a sanctuary for Bullet.
But Schoeve said she hasn’t found the perfect fit just yet.
She’s excited about a lead in Flower Mound, however. It’s not official, but it could be just the right spot. Bullet would have room to herself and the care she needs. And Schoeve could get a key to come visit Bullet’s pasture whenever she wants.
The possible new owner even suggested building a barn just for Bullet.
“We’re not building her a barn,” Schoeve said. “She gets a house.”