Grumpy grandma nixes boy’s gift
Dear Abby:
I have a 6-year-old son who is very compassionate. My husband’s mother lives with us and recently went through an illness from which she recovered. Twice my son tried to give her a necklace he had made from braided yarn to cheer her up. She not only refused to accept them but left them on the floor as if she didn’t even want to touch them.
As Grandma is not likely to change, I wonder how to help him understand that his sweet but childish gifts are just not valuable to some people. If I say nothing, I worry it will hurt him more.
Personally, I love the pictures and letters and gifts he makes for me, and so does my mother, who lives far away. It makes me ache to see his compassionate gifts rejected to his face by a family member he loves. Your thoughts?
Sensitive Mom of a Sensitive Boy
Dear Sensitive Mom:
It appears your motherin-law dwells more on the price of things than on their value. If your son was disappointed by the woman’s reaction, he needs to know that “not everyone appreciates creative art.” But assure him that you and your mother definitely do, and that they are not only welcomed, but also treasured.
Dear Abby:
I have a horrible fear of death, not just my own but something happening to my toddler. It stresses me so badly that I have not been away from her for more than two hours in her three years. I’m terrified that something will happen and I won’t be there to help her. Because I’ve done this, she will not let me leave the room, let alone the house. Her daddy gets upset that she cries to be with me.
I lost my friend and both of my parents within a year, and my daughter was born between the deaths of Mom and Dad. Also, I had cancer as a young adult. I don’t know if this has contributed to my feelings, but I know I’m making myself crazy.
How do I get over this so we can function like a normal family?
Paralyzed in Kentucky
Dear Paralyzed:
Though it’s normal for a young child to be dependent upon his or her mother, children also need to know they can trust and depend upon their father to meet their needs.
You may need the help of a licensed psychotherapist to get over your fear.
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