Dropping engagement-ring hints might help get desired style
Dear Miss Manners:
My fiance is about to buy my engagement ring. He knows I like jewelry, so he always gets me that as a gift.
That being said, he apparently doesn’t really understand my taste. What is the polite way to tell him if I dislike the ring, or should I even do that? Gentle Reader:
Not if you want this engagement to lead to marriage, let alone to more jewelry.
As you know the ring is forthcoming, Miss Manners suggests that you set about quickly complimenting the things that you do like about the jewelry your fiance has already given you. Specifics that are also sufficiently vague — like “I love round stones” or “I prefer a classic style” — are useful, while also giving him some room to make his own decisions. Or he may give up in desperation and ask you to take over. Seemingly your preferred option. Dear Miss Manners:
In the middle of my speaking to my boyfriend, he will walk out of the room. I have told him it is rude and bad manners. He says he can hear me, therefore it isn’t rude. Gentle Reader:
If you want to test his theory, Miss Manners suggests that you try lowering your voice when he leaves the room. And then acting puzzled when he returns to find out what he did, in fact, miss. Dear Miss Manners:
We are getting ready to celebrate my daughter’s quinceañera and have decided not to serve alcohol, for many reasons. My mother was mortified when she learned this and keeps pressuring me to provide alcohol.
She does not drink; however, she insists that the only reason guests attend such celebrations is to drink and that guests will be disappointed.
Although I have put my foot down on the issue, I want to know if it’s rude not to offer alcohol at such events. Should I let guests know in advance so they can make the choice themselves and not be disappointed when they arrive? Should it be printed in the invitations?
I say that if guests truly care about my daughter, they will attend regardless, and if they want to attend only for free alcohol, then we are probably better off without them. Of course, nonalcoholic drinks and food will be served. Gentle Reader:
How pitiful that your mother thinks that the only reason your family would celebrate your daughter is free liquor.
If it is possible, hold this event during the day and call it a brunch or a tea. Alcohol will be less expected. Or if it is a less formal occasion, word the invitation with what is being offered, rather than what is not: “Dinner will be served, along with soda and juice.” For those bold enough to object to this situation, Miss Manners suggests that you politely remind them of the reason for the celebration — and that the guest of honor is not yet of drinking age. Dear Miss Manners:
Is personally delivering an invitation, wedding or otherwise, socially acceptable? Gentle Reader:
It was traditionally considered preferable to avoid the post by sending a footman, as Miss Manners recalls. If you do not happen to have a footman, you may use your own feet.