Couple says ‘yes’ to friends but ‘no way’ to their dogs
After a fishing trip, we invited over friends who live about an hour away to enjoy our catch. They replied that they’d love to, and reminded us they have two dogs now.
Before we replied, they wrote again: “We hope you can put up with us and our two weird dogs for the day, and overnight if we drink too much.”
I stated the invitation was meant only for them and we were not prepared to include two dogs at this time — considering my husband is allergic and our home was recently remodeled, including new hardwood floors. These are not lap dogs, more medium-size (40 pounds).
They were sad to hear we didn’t welcome their “well-behaved girls.” They said their house was open if we wanted to come there. Any better way I should have handled this?
Gentle Reader:
“I’m afraid that our house is ill-equipped for your dogs, but we would love to have just the two of you” is likely what you thought you said.
But anyone reading your letter, including Miss Manners, clearly inferred that your hardwood floors were more important to you than their dogs.
This is clearly not what they wanted to hear. Since your friends seemed to have remained in good standing by asking you to come to their house instead, however, Miss Manners advises you to take them up on their offer graciously.
Dear Miss Manners:
I do coursework at the public library in my town. They have several sets of large and small tables. Because I need to spread out lots of papers, books, notepads and my laptop, I sit at a large four-person table, which also has a built-in electrical plug for my laptop. These tables have hard wooden chairs with high backs. The smaller twoperson tables have no plugs, but wider seats with padded cushions and low backs.
I have a herniated disc, so sitting still for long periods of time and not being able to stretch take a toll on my back. I have started to swap out the chairs, always putting them back. For what it is worth, tables are plentiful.
I now feel guilty not only for being a single person at a large table for four, but for also swapping the seats. I feel I may be rude to take up so much space and swap chairs to make myself comfortable, even if no one has complained.
Gentle Reader:
Miss Manners suggests that you do not invite complaint when none is being issued.