Anatomy of a dinner party
Inquire about the most revered hosts and hostesses of all time, and names like Truman Capote, Lee Radziwill and Lynn Wyatt get tossed around. However unorthodox, Dalai Lama XIV is another party-planning muse worth considering. The revelrous quote, “Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively,” is attributed to him. Wise words, if you ask me. Despite the volume of etiquette books penned on the subject of entertaining, only one commandment warrants golden rule status: Know your audience. Throwing a great party isn’t an exact science, the rules are open to interpretation. So when West Coast publicist Natalie Bloomingdale shared that an East Coast client, fashion designer Molly Moorkamp, would be touching down in Houston for the first time, the idea for a Gulf Coast, girls-only dinner was born. We tapped “it” girls, emerging hospitality talent and a room with a view for an intimate gathering that looked as #nofilter gorgeous in person as it did on Instagram. Here are the other tips, tricks and hacks that got the job done. Just remember, these rules are made to be broken.
X marks the spot: This town’s best-dressed women see their fair share of hotel ballrooms, country club luncheons and cocktail kickoffs, but that’s no way to show off Houston to a first-timer. After searching high and low for a singular event space, we settled on high — sky high. Kirby Collection’s 25th-floor Sky View Lounge provided unobstructed views from uptown to downtown, River Oaks and beyond. Plus, with complimentary valet service, a gorgeous 22-foot oak table and a catering kitchen at our disposal, pulling the trigger was a no-brainer.
The business of guest lists: Guest lists can be nightmare-inducing, though ours came down to simple math. We wanted to utilize Kirby Collection’s single table, and a 24-person list afforded each diner approximately 10 inches of personal space if guests sat at the head and foot. Now, to ensure that 24 bodies actually showed on the big night (millennials are a fickle bunch) we extended 40 invitations. After the standard 30 percent dropped off, we received 28 RSVPs. As expected, a handful canceled last-minute (a no-no, even in 2018) and voilà, 24 optimally spaced place settings remained.
Invitation-only: When worded correctly, invitations can be more informative than a government document. To avoid an onslaught of questions leading up to the event — “What’s the parking situation?” “Is it seated?” “When do I need to RSVP by?” — put the details in black and white. Or in our case, blue and pink. Pro tip: Deadlines are a hostess’s best friend. Send digital invitations three weeks in advance. Request confirmed replies seven days out. Follow up with each guest 48 hours before go-time.
Menu-planning minefield: Food sensitivity is trendy. These days, it’s challenging to split an appetizer without someone divulging their lactose intolerance, gluten preference or Keto diet challenges. Sidestep that minefield by requesting medical or cultural restrictions only, then provide as many options as possible. Riel’s chef Ryan Lachaine settled on a three-course menu (mostly) free of the biggest offenders: cheese, red meat, chocolate and bread. More adventurous (read: fun) foods — mini hot dogs, fried gator karaage, borscht shooters — were served on grazing stations during cocktail hour.
Flowers, a power move: Vogue contributor Lauren Santo Domingo advises against getting one’s hair and makeup done for the same event, because it lacks personality. That logic also applies to entertaining — don’t vendor out every line item. After consulting the Moorkamps for their brand’s signature colors (blue and white) and favorite flower (hydrangea), I ordered their preferences by the bucket and mixed in treasures from my own home for a personalized, conversation-starting tablescape. Dunes and Duchess’ silvery two-arm candelabra perfectly offset classic crystal vases and votive-holders.
Strategic seating: Houston hostess Linda McReynolds once told me, “Make sure your table isn’t so wide that people can’t chat across it.” To guarantee guests actually have something to talk about, I like to seat each person next to someone they know and someone they don’t, and group guests by life stage and interest: moms-to-be Kimberly Scheele and Lilly Cullen were placed across from each other, Kennepunkport mainstays Sarahbeth Bush and Whitney Lawson sat side by side, and ballet die-hards Beth Zdeblick and Elise Lubanko cornered one end of the table. As a hostess, deafening chatter minus visible cellphones equals #goals.
Shaken and stirred: Signature cocktails aren’t just for weddings. A stiff, thoughtful drink adds a festive layer. In our case, Molly Moorkamp’s nickname is Molly Martini, so Treaty Oak Distilling dreamed up a Garden Party Gimlet aperitif and a cacao-infused Manhattan digestif. Lucky us, WTN Cellars loaned two sommeliers to pour a range of Napa County wines paired with each course. Cheers to glasses half full.
The sound of music: Nothing creates, or kills, a vibe faster than a soundtrack. In my experience, a three-playlist approach is most effective. For cocktails, try upbeat remixes on Top 40 songs; then later, over dinner, lower the volume and switch to soothing classics that are familiar, though less distracting; and to give guests the boot, nothing suggests “you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here,” like Semisonic’s “Closing Time” or Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’.”
The queen’s speech: Unless awards or checks are being distributed, remarks are the one party component where less is more. It’s important to thank co-conspirators who helped put the event together, but make like an Oscar winner and limit all speeches to 30 seconds or less.
Exit strategy: Santo Domingo (she’s a clever one) also said, “It’s smart to make reservations at a nightclub for after-dinner drinks, otherwise people may never leave.” Armando’s proved an elegant solution to extend post-Girls Night Out invitations to fiancés, husbands and beaus. Nothing like tequila shots and dancing to toast an evening well-executed.