Wed­ding plans evolved to ex­clude aunt and un­cle

Houston Chronicle Sunday - - ZEST - Visit Miss Man­ners at miss­man­ners.com, where you can send her your ques­tions. An­drews McMeel Syn­di­ca­tion

Dear Miss Man­ners:

Af­ter send­ing us a “save the date” no­tice for a fall wed­ding, our nephew called to say that he and his in­tended were over­whelmed by wed­ding plans, es­pe­cially the fam­ily pres­sure to in­clude rel­a­tives they scarcely know.

They de­cided in­stead to elope to the South­west. We agreed it was a great plan and thought no more about it. That is, un­til learn­ing that what had evolved was ac­tu­ally a desti­na­tion wed­ding, com­plete with a din­ner and a re­cep­tion, to which “close friends and rel­a­tives” are in­vited — my hus­band’s sis­ter among them — though we are not!

I am feel­ing miffed! Am I out of line?

Gen­tle Reader:

No, just out of fa­vor. While this whole pro­ce­dure was clearly rude, Miss Man­ners rec­om­mends that you con­sider your­self lucky — and that much richer — for not hav­ing spent money on a forced va­ca­tion with (ap­par­ently dis­tant) rel­a­tives. As an added bonus, she per­mits you to forgo the present that she feels cer­tain will be so­licited, and sug­gests you re­ward your­self with an ac­tual va­ca­tion.

JU­DITH MARTIN

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