Honoring the dead
Jewish fraternal organization supplying headstones for unmarked graves
Spending time at funerals and in cemeteries comes with the territory for members of the Lodge Galil of the Hebrew Order of David International. That’s how they stumbled upon a major need in the community, which became the basis for their current Gravestone Project.
The global Jewish fraternal organization is all about promoting the faith, building brotherhood and helping worthy causes. The Houston chapter is also known for being the go-to group to help forming a minyan, the 10 Jewish adults required by tradition to recite certain prayers.
In some Jewish traditions, a minyan is required for a funeral. A tombstone is not placed on the grave immediately at the time of burial, but a year later, during the unveiling ceremony. Again, a minyan is usually required to say the Mourner’s Kaddish at the event.
When an individual is preparing to honor a deceased loved one but cannot find enough individuals to make up a minyan, volunteers from the Hebrew Order of David will fix that.
“We get the word out, and someone will say, ‘I’m on my way,’ ” member Mark Katzenellenbogen explained. “We go to help give that person a traditional Jewish burial. Even if we don’t know who they are, it’s just the right thing to do.”
The group’s new Gravestone Project is an extension of the same sentiment — doing the right thing for someone who has died.
It all started when Hebrew Order of David member Ivor Segall was volunteering to join minyans and noticed graves without markers at area cemeteries. The more he thought about it, the more it bothered him.
“No grave should go unmarked,” he said. “With all the floods Houston has, markers could get lost, or someone might not have a next of kin. What better charitable deed is there than putting up a stone?”
Segall brought up the idea of donating markers at his next Hebrew Order of David meeting.
“We decided to go for it,” he said. Katzenellenbogen remembered that even the grave next to his father’s had only a small, temporary placard on it. The organization started reaching out to synagogues and cemeteries to see how many graves were unmarked and why.
Katzenellenbogen learned that, in most cases, the cemeteries had lost touch with families of the deceased. Sometimes, families did not have funds to cover burial expenses.
The lodge discovered that, in the past, synagogues and cemeteries had tried to place markers on the graves but were unsuccessful for a variety of reasons.
“No one has actually coordinated it,” Katzenellenbogen said. “No one has gotten it off the ground.”
The Lodge Galil had the time, manpower and drive to take on the project, Segall said. “We took the ball and ran with it. It’s blossoming into something big.”
The importance of proper burial in the Jewish tradition can be seen in the story of Abraham’s purchase of a plot for his wife, Sarah, said Rabbi Adrienne Scott of Congregation Beth Israel. Abraham pays a high price to know that he will always have a place to visit his devoted companion.
“It’s important to have access to mourn our beloveds and to bury them with our traditions,” Scott said.
By honoring the dead, the Jewish religion places an emphasis on life. “Our tradition teaches from dust to dust,” Scott said. “What we care about is the spirit of the individual and how we continue to live in their memory.”
Everyone should have the same opportunity to celebrate the lives of those who have gone before. “There’s a lot of sensitivity in modern Judaism about death,” she said.
During the Holocaust, Jewish families were robbed the opportunity to honor the dead, Scott said. “So many people were lost completely. Records weren’t kept. Families were separated. The pain of that is something that is always with us.”
Now, Jewish congregations join together to honor those who have been lost.
“Each person has a name,” Scott said. “To say, ‘I remember him,’ is to say that you care, that everyone matters and that we haven’t forgotten you.”
Kathy Parven, cemetery director for Congregation Beth Israel, said record keeping has changed over the years. Since assuming the position almost four years ago, she has made finding and organizing records a top priority.
She discovered 31 graves that were not marked in the synagogue’s cemetery off of Antoine.
“It caused us to reach back to any family members we could find,” Parven said.
Two families were located. “It’s such a gift to those families for their loved ones to be marked so they have a place to go,” she said.
The cemetery did not have enough funding to place markers on the graves of all 31 plots, so when the Houston chapter of the Hebrew Order of David International reached out, Parven was thrilled.
“There’s a great need, and it’s really wonderful that they’re doing this,” she said. “It’s very meaningful that everyone has a marker here. It makes it real that they’re there, instead of them disappearing into nowhere. You weren’t forgotten. You were thought of — and that’s a way of taking care of them in their final resting place.”
There are at least 160 graves in Houston’s Jewish cemeteries in need of a headstone, Katzenellenbogen said. The lodge donated funding for the first round — unveiling eight markers on Oct. 6.
Gaitz Memorials helped cover the costs of the stones and engraving them, and Ramirez Cemetery Services joined the effort to place the markers.
The first markers were reserved for burials that dated back many years. They are all cases of either the cemetery losing track of who is buried there or the deceased not having any family to cover a headstone.
Lodge Galil will continue to take on another eight to 10 graves as funds are raised.
“We’re here to see this project through,” Katzenellenbogen said.
“We do all of the volunteer part of it, but we’re encouraging communities to help us. The cost involved is paying for the actual marker itself.”
The fraternity needs assistance covering the expense for the markers of the rest of the graves on the list.
“When you add up the volume, we just don’t have the funds,” Katzenellenbogen said.
“We’re trying to make sure a person’s memory is acknowledged.”
This project could inspire other denominations to ensure their cemetery records are kept and markers are installed on all graves, Segall said.
“It’s not just for Jewish headstones,” he said. “Other churches can do the same kind of thing. It’s not difficult, and it’s a good project. This is something that is there forever,” he said.
Lodge Galil hopes to expand its reach to cemeteries in nearby cities.
“Even if no name can be provided for a headstone, a marker can be placed on the grave,” Segall said. “At least we’re going to have the words, ‘Rest in Peace’ on the stone.”
He wants to honor the dead in whatever way possible.
“There’s a name attached to that person,” he said. “There’s a story behind each and every one of those graves. Even if there’s a grave with no name, there’s still a story.”