Putting limits on party food may dampen holiday spirit
Dear Miss Manners:
Our organization is having a holiday open house. The agency will have food, desserts, etc., for the entire organization and family members. Our smaller unit will also serve light refreshments and beverages in our conference room.
Last year, people loaded up on the deli sandwiches and we were left with not enough. Is it appropriate for us to limit the sandwiches to two per member until everyone has been served? We never know from year to year how many to expect.
Gentle Reader:
Telling people that they have a strict sandwich allotment is unlikely to have the desired effect of spreading holiday goodwill — or of limiting the intake.
But one thing offices have is staff. Place someone at the table who can help fill the guests’ plates. This will not discourage everyone from coming back for seconds, but Miss Manners is confident it will discourage enough. And it will have the added benefit that it will make surveillance look gracious.
Dear Miss Manners:
I love to bake interesting cakes from scratch, using highquality ingredients. I enjoy serving them to friends and acquaintances I invite to my home.
Frequently, someone will ask for a piece to take home “for my husband” or another family member. I usually comply; however, I don’t wish to be supplying cake to people I didn’t invite. I may also have other plans for the remaining cake.
Is the requester rude to be asking for extra cake? How can I politely decline?
Gentle Reader:
Your hostly duties do not include stocking the refrigerators of departing guests. Since you cannot, however, tell a guest she is being rude, Miss Manners recommends a hungry, “offstage” friend or relative of your own: “I’m so sorry. I already put Egbert to bed, but I imagine he was hoping for leftovers.”
Dear Miss Manners:
Our 10-story condominium building has a social committee, and one of their missions is to raise money for common area improvements. They are selling tickets for a home tour, where unit owners open their homes to display their designs and decorating sense.
We have a premium unit in the building, and it’s undergoing major renovations. We were asked if we would allow our unit to be on the tour. I politely declined.
My husband and I are private individuals who keep things to ourselves and have no interest in letting strangers into our home, nor in having our home photographed. No one from the building has been in our unit, but many are aware of the scale of the renovation and ask questions in the elevator. I am usually brief and downplay it.
Although I would like to support the cause and purchase tickets, I have no interest in going on the tour. My husband warned me that it might be perceived as “snobby” by the neighbors. What do you think?
Gentle Reader:
That it will be perceived as snobby by the neighbors. However, neighbors who are inclined that way were going to draw the same conclusion if you went on the tour and even if you did display your extensive renovations. Miss Manners recommends you stay clear of the entire project and show your support by instead participating generously in the next, less sensitive project.