What do non-Christians do on Christmas?
A group of Muslims and Jews get together to build relationships
Calendars were blank on Christmas Eve for a number of Houston’s Jewish and Muslim communities — that is, until Rabbi Steve Gross and Shariq Ghani put their heads together and created a whole new tradition.
The Muslim Jewish Christmas, an annual roundtable dinner, was born from their desire to bring the two faiths together and build bridges of understanding.
Now in its 10th year, the event will be held 2-4 p.m. Tuesday. This is the second time the occasion will be held in two locations — the Congregation for Reform Judaism, 801 Bering, and the Cypress Islamic Center, 16103 Cypress Rosehill.
The theme this year is “Standing Up for One Another,” said Ghani, who serves as director and founder of the Minaret Foundation, which focuses on building relationships to increase civic engagement in the Muslim community. Ghani said both Jewish and Muslim communities find themselves at the receiving end of hate — often from the same individuals and groups.
Ghani and Gross met 11 years ago, when they were the only non-Christians on an interfaith immersive experience in the Balkans organized by TRUTH, or Travels Revealing Understanding, Trust and Hope. Gross began tagging along with Ghani during his morning and evening prayers at mosque; then they would have coffee or share a meal and discuss the trip.
“Shariq and I hit it off immediately,” Gross said. “The purpose of the trip was to develop relationships, and Shariq and I developed a really nice friendship.”
When they returned to Houston, they wanted to keep that spirit alive. “We made a commitment that we would get our communities together,” Shariq recalled. “But we didn’t know what exactly that would look like.”
One day, over lunch, Ghani asked Gross what Jewish people do on Christmas Eve.
“We usually go out for Chinese food and see a movie,” Gross told him.
“That’s pretty much what Muslims do, too,” Ghani replied. “Let’s do it together.”
They decided to hold a Christmas Eve roundtable potluck, complete with a theme to explore and moderators at each table to lead discussions.
“It was immediately an effort in
the spirit of joy, love and understanding, in a season when joy, love and understanding are permeating the world,” Gross said.
He hosted the first event at his synagogue, the Congregation for Reform Judaism. The next was held at a mosque, and they planned to alternate through the years.
Salman Patoli attended the first event and tries to return as often as possible.
“There are not many forums available to have this type of discussion and dialogue,” he said.
Patoli liked how the program highlights similarities between Jews and Muslims. “Typically, in dialogues, most people walk in with preconceived notions and biases — and end up focusing on differences,” he said.
There are common beliefs — and common challenges in both communities, Patoli said. “In Judaism, anti-Semitism has been increasing quite a bit,” he said. “For Muslims, Islamophobia has been taking a stronger hold each year. At my table, when I discussed my experiences, everyone completely related.”
He hopes that Muslim Jewish Christmas will spark more opportunities in the future. “What can we two communities do to help each other?” he asks. “What are concrete actions that can be taken for cross-volunteerism? This is a good first step toward what is needed.”
Often, participants discover how alike the two cultures are. As an icebreaker, Gross projects a verse from the Quaran and one from the Torah and asks guests which is which. “Almost everyone gets it wrong,” Ghani said.
Over the years, the event has grown and multiple organizations have joined in, including Brand Lane Islamic Center, Islamic Center of Klein, River Oaks Islamic Center, Maryam
Islamic Center, Masjid at-Taqwa, Masjid WD Mohammed, Woodlands Islamic Center, as well as congregations Beth Israel, Beth Yeshurun, Emanu El and Jewish Community North. The Jewish Federation’s young adult division also joined.
Gross said the topics have covered being a minority, being a victim and understanding the narrative concerning Jerusalem. Last year, attendees discussed the Jewish and Muslim concepts of charitable giving, which are similar.
When the evening coincides with Hanukkah, menorahs are lit and latkes are served in the potluck.
“It’s one of our most rewarding programs,” Gross said. “It adds a layer of meaning and purpose to a day that is typically just a day off or a day of festivities in the Christian world.”
The need to join together has only grown lately, Gross explained, as communities become more insular. “We feel threatened by things we don’t understand,” he said. “Learning about other faiths helps us recognize the humanity in everyone, even if we believe in different things.”
Differences do not outweigh the common values of both faiths, he added: “We still have almost exactly the same needs — to be good parents, good neighbors and kind citizens.”
Ghani said that the Muslim Jewish Christmas is all about conversation at the table, and the dishes in the potluck spark stories. There’s usually challah, falafel, hummus, samosas and Pakistani dishes on the menu. “Food is sometimes the best start of a conversation,” he said.
Attendance has gone up each year; now there’s often a waiting list. As a result, the event expanded to multiple locations this year. Gross hopes to see more synagogues, mosques and community centers join.
Ghani said the Minaret Foundation is creating a case study based on this year’s Muslim
Jewish Christmas.
“We’re going to create a howto,” he said. “We want to make a complete program so we can give it to someone else and they can run with it. This is such an easy thing to do to bring our communities together.”
Already, the Muslim Jewish Christmas has sparked more interfaith events in both communities during the year.
“The Christmas event revealed gaps within our understanding of each other,” Ghani said. “We address them in subsequent events.”
Dena Marks, of the AntiDefamation League in Houston, is a member of Congregation for Reform Judaism, as well as Beth Israel and Emanu El. She served as a table monitor at one of the events.
“It was very interesting to see the interaction of different faiths at the table,” she said. “It was enlightening for me and for everyone. It was also gratifying to experience the sincere drive of all the participants to learn about each other and create interfaith understanding.”
Since Marks’ first event, she
goes back each year. “The friendships it has brought to me have been very rewarding,” she said.
At one Christmas Eve roundtable, Marks saw Ghani’s son talking with Gross’ son in front of the Torah. “It was fun to see them interacting and learning at such a young age,” she said. “The adults connect, and the young people, too. It was very moving and inspiring.”
Having the opportunity for young people to attend appealed to Munira Bhangee. She brought her son to the event after seeing it posted on Facebook.
“It was the first time he had been inside a synagogue,” she said. “We talk about different religions at home, but to see that in person was a really good experience for him.”
As the conversation began at the table, she heard her son speak up about discrimination he had experienced in school that she did not know about.
“A Jewish elderly man at the table then spoke to my son about what it was like growing up Jewish,” Bhangee said.
“They were generations apart talking about what it was like. It was so interesting to see that conversation take place.”
Watching Muslims and Jews connecting together over food was a moving experience, she added.
“I loved it,’ she said. “I wish there were more events like it. We all talk about tolerance and accepting others, but when do we put it in practice like this?”
Bhangee believes her son is learning a lesson he can carry forward.
“This is how you build relationships with people who aren’t from the same background,” she said. “That is really important. And doing it at a young age can make all the difference.”
For more information, visit minaretfoundation.com/events/ muslim-jewish-roundtable.