A New Year’s resolution worth considering
We all heard it when we were
young … “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will
never hurt me …” Nice in theory — but it is not true, is it?
Certainly, some words intended to hurt do not hurt; but lots of words — offered with intent, or not — do hurt. They can wound deeply and can also leave enduring, if not permanent scars. I do not know how many spouses, children, parents, employees have been the victim of abusive words, thoughtless insults and malicious gossip whom I have met over the years of my ministry, who poured out their grief, their tears, their pain.
I chose to lift up the words we speak because some of the words we hear much these days are: “We are living in such a divisive time … where the rhetoric is as
bad as it has ever been.”
I do not know if the historical analysis is correct, but there is no question that a lot of the rhetoric playing itself out in the national news, in politics, in conversation is, in fact, bad. We have now become so accustomed to elected officials dropping expletives as part of their political speeches that it no longer shocks us. I suppose it is fair to say that fudging the truth is as old as time itself, (well … as humans, if you want to go back to the book of Genesis!).
But again, we now see actors who practice deception in their craft, fold it into their day-to-day lives, by concocting stories to assure their child’s admission to institutions of higher learning. And please, while I am no prude, don’t get me started on the overuse of vulgar language in television and film. One of the year’s top contenders for Best Picture, the crimedrama , “The Irishman,” uses one particular offensive word 133 times — an average of about one for every minute of the film; it makes one wonder why they can’t get more creative than that? Go back to perhaps the best crime film of all time, “The Godfather,” and you’ll find that same expletive used twice — but in Italian, so you are likely to miss it! Oh well … does our faith have anything to say about this?
Um, yes … emphatically.
In His “Sermon on the
Mount,” Jesus says this:
“You have heard that it was said, to people long ago, ‘Do not murder,’ and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother ‘Raca’ (an Aramaic term of contempt) is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell,” (Matthew 5:21-22).
When Paul was anticipating a possible visit to the Christians in Corinth, he noted that he was concerned that they had succumbed to verbal assaults on one another, writing, “I fear that there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder.” (II Corinthians 12:20)
When writing to new converts to the faith in Colossae, Paul would counsel them to “… rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander and filthy language from your lips.” (Colossians 3:8)
And the Lord’s brother, James, reminded his readers of the power of the tongue:
“Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body … . With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness.
Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.” ( James 3:5-6, 9-12)
Now — perhaps take a moment and let these verses, (there are others, but I landed on these) settle in a bit.
You know, I cannot do much about what political leaders say; I suspect the dam (sadly) has broken completely down between Rhett Butler’s “Frankly my
dear …” and Robert De Niro’s “Irishman.” Lying has been around since the garden of Eden, and clearly, gossip cranked up not
long after that. But — with God’s help, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I can do something about my own words.
What these verses of Scripture remind us is this: Words do matter.
What we say, how we say it, the intent behind it — they do, matter; they matter deeply. They impact those with whom we work, play, live and worship; they leave marks on those we love — and on those whom we do not. And — the impact can be either positive, or negative. It is about as simple as that. Would you rather encounter a smile or a frown? A curse or a blessing? A harsh word or a soft one? What are you offering others?
Now, as I look on the
verses above — let me be completely transparent — I have violated every single injunction. I have spoken harshly, I have been unjustly angry, I have laughed at and told my share of crude jokes, and I have uttered words that (in my grandmother’s home at least) would have ushered in a good old soap washing of my tongue. I am not proud of any of those moments — and I suspect I will find myself (literally) tripping over my tongue again more often that I would like. I have a hunch you will, too. But — my human and sinful inclinations are no reason to throw in the towel on cleaning up one’s mouth — why? Because (to restate my case), “Words matter.”
So we need to keep coming back to those things to which you and I are called, as children created in
God’s image; and that’s why the good Lord gives us the gifts of confession, repentance — that’s why He’s always there with His grace, and His mercy, and His help. And, of course, we can turn to Holy Scripture again and again as a road map for the man or the woman in the mirror.
The Book of Proverbs can help us here:
“Rash words are like sword thrusts, But the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Proverbs 12:18)
“A gentle answer, turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1)
“A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.” (Proverbs 16:28)
Well, a new year is upon us. We will, once again, make (and likely break) resolutions. Rather than the old standbys of losing weight, exercising more, cutting back on sweets, what say we all — we regular readers of the Houston Chronicle — consider the use of our tongue, that two-edged sword that can either curse or bless, wound or heal, hate or love. If it’s been turning the wrong way for a bit too long, invite the good Lord to baptize your tongue; better yet — your mind before your tongue speaks.
Before you send that text or email, post that thought, throw that hand out the window in traffic — before you speak that word, resolve to ask yourself three questions using words attributed to everyone from Socrates to Buddha to John Wesley — but they work for me …
“Before you speak, ask yourself, ‘Is it true?,’ ‘Is it nice … ?’ ‘Is it necessary?’ ”
Maybe if we collectively “resolve” to speak only words that bless, heal and help, the times in which we live might very well change.
With that, one more verse for your consideration, from the Apostle Paul, to carry along as you meditate on this:
“No foul word should ever cross your lips; let your words be for the improvement of others, as occasions offers, and do good to your listeners …” (Ephesians 4:29) “Do good to your listeners.” Hmm … that’s a good word, don’t you think?