Seders will be smaller this year, but the importance of connection continues
“Why is this night different from all other nights?”
That famous question, posed by the youngest child at a Passover, or Pesach, Seder sparks it all — the traditional telling of ancient Israelites’ exodus from Egypt and freedom from slavery at the hands of the pharaoh.
But in this unusual year, children might want to know, “Why is this Passover different from all others?”
After all, rabbis in Houston are asking congregants to change traditions in light of the coronavirus outbreak — to keep Seders safe and small this year.
There are a number of ways COVID-19 is presenting a challenge this Passover, from closing communitywide observances and limiting the size of at-home Seders to making it difficult to shop for kosher foods.
Even explaining a pandemic to children can be complicated, said Rabbi Barry Gelman at United Orthodox Synagogues of Houston.
“Point out to your kids the times they’ve struggled, and they’ve been
OK,” he suggested.
In a way, Gelman said, that’s what Passover is about — looking into history to examine a tremendous struggle in an effort to boost hope in the present.
“That’s what we do on Pesach,” Gelman said. “We were slaves to the pharaoh in Egypt. God took us out, and now we’re free. That’s such an important message right now. It’s a hard time spiritually and emotionally. We have to stay optimistic — and smart about it.”
The rabbi has received a number of questions about Passover this year. He’s been told of changed plans and canceled flights.
“This is the first time, in a long time, that people won’t be able to have Passover with their grandparents, and it’s really sad,” he said. “The whole point is sharing an intergenerational story of our people. That can’t happen this year — and it shouldn’t.”
Gelman will be leading by example. “My parents are a 10-minute walk from me,” he said. “But they’re going to have a Seder for two.”
Celebrations for two — or even one — are completely permissible this year, Gelman said. He explained that pursuing health and preserving life are fundamental ideas in Judaism. “We have to — this year, unfortunately — be wary of that and act accordingly,” he said.
“The way to serve God is usually to go to synagogue,” he said. “Today to serve God is to go to synagogue. This is how, in this situation, we have to observe our religion. It’s hard for people. It requires a bit of a pivot.”
Rabbi Gideon Estes of Congregation Or Ami will also demonstrate the importance of a smaller Seder this year. He usually celebrates with his parents and other family members, who visit from California. This time, no one is flying in.
“You might not be able to have a 40-person Seder this year, but you can do Passover on a small scale, and that’s OK,” Estes said.
Rethinking how to keep the tradition alive is key, he explained. “In a time of crisis, you can make certain exceptions to Jewish law,” he said.
For example, at Congregation Or Ami, Zoom and Facetime will be used to link family Seders. “They can still be there in spirit using technology,” Estes said.
He added that individuals can be creative with staying kosher during the coronavirus pandemic. He encourages finding a way to buy matzah, which is usually available at grocery stores and even through delivery services. Other Passover treats might not be as easy to obtain as in years past.
“You don’t really need all of the delicacies,” Estes said. “Fruits and vegetables are always kosher for Passover. It’s going to be a difficult situation. There’s enough stress in our lives right now. Passover doesn’t need to be stressful.”
Estes suggests that individuals talk to their rabbis and find ways to adapt to the pandemic.
Congregation Beth Yeshurun and Temple Sinai canceled their community Seders this year and have asked congregants to stay at home. “We’ve gone to an online platform for basically everything,” said Rabbi Brian Strauss at Beth Yeshuran. “We’re going to give people tools and have resources together so they can have Seders with just their immediate families or by themselves.”
Strauss has an online class available to those who want to prepare for a Seder and will also offer a virtual service during Passover.
Rabbi Annie Belford at Temple Sinai said that on the first night of Passover she will livestream her family Seder for those who would like to follow along at home. The congregation will also have a Facebook group to answer Pesach questions.
“We’re not socially distancing, we’re physically distancing,” she said. “We have to stay connected. Passover is meant to be communal. It’s meant to be a shared experience.”
Congregation Shaar Hashalom had to cancel its plans to join with Temple Beth Tikvah for what would have been the first time the two temples in Clear Lake hosted a Seder together. “Hopefully, we’ll do it next year,” Rabbi Stuart Federow said.
He sent a letter to his congregation asking members to use technology to connect with each other.
“I am asking you to call five other people in our synagogue, to contact, to reach out and touch someone,” he wrote.
Federow said that congregations are meant to come together; religion is supposed to be a form of connection. “I’m urging people to pick up their phones, and let people hear their voices,” he said.
Congregation Beth Israel is planning to create an abbreviated, recorded Seder enhancement for its members, Rabbi Adrienne Scott said. She also recommends using Facetime and Zoom to attend celebrations.
Helping those who cannot travel to be with family is important, Scott added. “We want to explore ways to bring Passover to them,” she said.
The meals follow a specific order, described by the Haggadah, or text, for Passover. Part of the process involves discussing various symbols throughout the night.
“I would encourage families to take this time together to explain the meaning of each symbol,” said Rabbi Steve Gross of the Congregation for Reform Judaism. “We can use this time, where we have lots of hours together. Each child or member of the family can do research on a particular symbol. We can make the Seder meal even more meaningful.”
Another idea Gross offered was spending time preparing Seder foods together. “Maybe families can take this time to try making their own matzah,” he said. “The hours we have available to us enable us to spend more time as a family.”
Rabbi Scott explained that Passover is the most widely observed holiday for Jewish people. “It’s the oldest and has the most symbolism,” she said. In fact, she explained that the idea of spring cleaning could date to the Jewish practice of thoroughly organizing their home for Passover.
During the holiday, Jews are not allowed to eat any leavened food, which is prepared with yeast or a rising agent — to symbolize the hurried flight from Egypt, when baking bread would have taken too much time. To prepare for the week of observance, the house is thoroughly cleaned, and all leavened bread or “chametz” is removed and donated or even sold. Rabbi Scott said that this practice also promotes purging of symbolic chametz in your day.
“You’re removing those swollen aspects of your life,” she said. “It’s to allow ourselves to be free of those barriers that are binding us in some way.”
During the pandemic, Scott added, there is more time to clean and clear homes and schedules of unnecessary items.
“This time reminds us of what we really need,” she said. “We all love our routines, our schedules. Now we have to adjust. This idea of adjusting — the ups and downs in life — is nothing new for our people.”
Rabbi Federow said that above all else, Passover is a celebration of freedom. “We’re not free right now to do whatever we want or go where we want,” he added. “What this does is remind us of the freedom we normally have. It’s also a reminder of what we should value — person-toperson contact. We need to remember how precious our freedoms are.”
Rabbi Estes also spoke of the importance of continuing to build community.
“In this time of isolation and social distancing, we need to be intentional about making community,” he said. “We can still make community, can still reach out. We can look to our tradition to give us inspiration and hope to move forward.”