Risqué or risky? Safe sex in a pandemic year
“Sexual activity is normal,” says Janece Gough, an education program manager for Planned Parenthood Gulf Coast. But months into the COVID-19 pandemic — while it appears that all forms of in-person sexual contact carry some risk — many people feel starved for that normalcy.
Abstinence, as Harvard researchers noted in the Annals of Internal Medicine, carries a low risk of infection, but is “not feasible for many.”
So what’s a person to do? Sex educators and public health officials recommend “harm reduction strategies” — assessing the risk to yourself and the people around you and reducing it as much as you can.
In general, the risk isn’t sex itself. It’s being physically close to another person, period.
STAY HOME
Date at a distance. “When you’re dating a new partner, the safest thing is to do it virtually,” says Gough. “Build a connection.”
She recommends wholesome activities. Watch a show together on Netflix Party, a free extension for the Chrome browser. Play an online game together. Or plan a more ambitious videochat date, like a dress-up photo shoot. Love the one you’re with. Monogamy offers relatively safe sex, assuming you and your partner both take precautions to stay safe outside your household.
But being cooped up together all day, every day, can kill your libido and make you want to throttle your partner. Gough recommends basic measures to keep yourselves sane: Stick to a daily routine. Communicate about irritations, like an unfair division of chores, that may be driving you bonkers. And even if you’ve got kids at home, schedule regular dates, and make them special.
Go solo. “Masturbation and toy play will not spread COVID-19 to another person,” advises a factsheet from Austin Public Health. “Remember to wash your hands before and after and wash toys with soapy water.”
IF YOU MUST GO OUT
Take precautions. And take them even if you and your partner feel healthy. According to the
CDC, an estimated 40 percent of people infected with COVID-19 show no symptoms. But they can still infect other people, and those infections can be serious.
Be picky. “If you do have sex with others, have as few partners as possible,” advises the Austin Department of Public Health.
Wear a mask. “Maybe it’s your thing, maybe it’s not,” says the New York City Health Department’s edgy “Safer Sex and COVID-19” tipsheet. “But during COVID-19 wearing a face covering that covers your nose and mouth is a good way to add a layer of protection during sex. Heavy breathing and panting can spread the virus further, and if you or your partner have COVID-19 and don’t know it, a mask can help stop that spread.”
Kissing is dangerous. If droplets of saliva in the air can carry the virus, imagine the danger of swapping spit. “Kissing can easily spread COVID-19,” Austin Public Health warns flatly.
‘Make it a little kinky,’ suggests the New York City Health Department. “Be creative with sexual positions and physical barriers, like walls, that allow sexual contact while preventing close face-to-face contact.”
And all the usual: “As always, practice safe sex using prevention methods like condoms, lube, dental dams, insertable condoms, and pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP),” advises Austin Public Health.
HOME OR AWAY
Don’t snog with someone sick. Even if you live together, avoid contact if your partner has a fever or feels unwell — or if they’ve had symptoms within the last 14 days.
Wash your hands. Before and after sex, for at least 20 seconds, whether the relationship is a hookup you met on an app or your loving spouse of umpty-ump years. Hand-washing is plain good hygiene, Gough notes, and it prevents more than COVID-19.