‘Indian Matchmaking’ cast members talk about their lives now
What happens to your love life after you go on a dating reality show? “Indian Matchmaking,” an eightpart docuseries on Netflix, follows seven singles in the United States and India as they go on dates arranged by Mumbai matchmaker Sima Taparia. It’s gotten a lot of buzz and has sparked criticism since it came out last month. We spoke with two cast members, Aparna Shewakramani of Houston and Vyasar Ganesan of Austin, about the experience.
Q: Why did you go on “Indian Matchmaking?”
Aparna Shewakramani:
Two years ago, I saw a friend’s Facebook post about it. It said: Are you South Asian? Are you single? Are you looking to find your life partner? Are you serious about it? And I said, “Yes, to all of the above!” It had the application linked to it. I submitted the application in under five minutes. A week later, I got a phone call from a casting team member.
Vyasar Ganesan: A friend let me know about the casting call. He said, “I think you’d be perfect for it.” I looked at it and was like: “That’s not really my thing. Thanks for sending it.” And then within an hour, six other people sent me the same thing, saying: “You have to be on this.” And so I decided: “If it’s going to get you off my back, I’ll do it.” But as I started going through more of the interviews, I started getting more and more interested.
Q: Vyasar, on the show, it never really explained what happened with you and Rashi. When the season ends, you two seem to be doing well and you note that it’s time to tell her about the strained relationship you have with your dad. How did that conversation go?
Vyasar:
Nothing really happened. It wasn’t a thing that was a point of concern for her; she made it sound like it wasn’t a point of concern for her family. That’s not the reason things didn’t work out with me and Rashi. It was completely amicable. She flew back to San Francisco. I live in Austin. We just sort of drifted apart — and eventually we agreed that it wasn’t working.
Q: Do you have any tips on how to approach dating when you’re in a small town or a specific cultural community?
Aparna:
I stay on very good terms with people. I never ghost. I’m very upfront. After a first date, if they call me or text me for a second date, and I didn’t feel it, I’ll say: “These are the things I enjoyed about meeting you.” And then I tell them, “Unfortunately, I just don’t think that we have that kind of connection, and I hope you understand.” Then I try to set them up with a friend.
Q: Have you been dating while self-quarantining?
Aparna:
No, I have not. Everyone says: “I do Zoom first dates.” And I’m like: “Oh gosh, no, I don’t think so.”
Vyasar: I’m not dating anyone with the pandemic and everything going on. There are people who are doing the Zoom-date thing; more power to them. It is hard. I’m getting plenty of offers. But I have not stepped up to the plate.
Q: The show has gotten criticism for how it portrays Indian matchmaking. What do you think of how it depicted your community?
Aparna:
It definitely was triggering for a lot of people to see classism, heightism, sexism, all of the things thrown out there. But I think it was important that the show didn’t sanitize the process and our culture — it showed how things are in this moment. It is a snapshot of seven people and one matchmaker. It is not a snapshot of our entire culture or thousands of years’ tradition in matchmaking.
Anything that annoys and irritates a lot of viewers, it’s rightly so because we don’t have enough representation of South Asians in media to have every conversation about it. So this was the first show, and there’s many conversations to be had. People ask: Why was it all quote-unquote “upper-class people?” Well, next time maybe it won’t be. Why didn’t it include LGBTQ people? Well, maybe next time it will.
Vyasar: None of the things that the show is bringing up are new. Indians and Indian Americans have known about these things for a long time — casteism, colorism, gender discrimination, differences in how women are talked about in Indian culture with the matchmaker. We need more shows to fill the void that this show leaves.
One the best things the show does is celebrate people’s right to choose and everyone’s ability to make decisions for themselves. And that is really worth celebrating.
Q: Meaning that both people are making a decision about whether they want to enter into a match?
Vyasar:
Yeah, basically. For so many years, the perception of arranged marriage has been that it’s arranged by somebody else and that you don’t really have a say. But “Indian Matchmaking” shows that this younger generation is working hard to make an arranged marriage truly arranged by themselves — to have equal footing and equal say with other parties involved.