Communication is crucial to help spouse navigate job loss
Q: My spouse is unemployed after years on the job and has been through change before, but this time he is having more challenges moving forward. I am trying to be supportive. Do you have any suggestions to help with his job search?
A: When a family member loses their job, there is more to it than missing a paycheck. Job loss is much like a grieving process, and every person will go through it in their unique way. There are several ways you can help manage change, but the most important is communication.
Many times, a job title can become a person’s identity. If you think about it, when people socialize, part of their conversations involves an exchange of information about what they do. If you have lost your job title, it often feels awkward, and for some, that leads to avoiding situations where the subject of unemployment comes up.
The emotional roller coaster is an excellent visual when describing how a job loss impacts your emotions, and a job seeker can easily relate to the ups and downs of a search.
One area that is often overlooked is the supportive spouse who has a front row seat watching all the dilemmas involved during a search.
Spouses play a critical role in supporting the job candidate, most notably being a sounding board when needed. They can also help by using a dose of reality to keep the job seeker focused when tempted to drift back into a “watch and wait” mindset.
Here are some suggestions that have helped job candidates cope and strengthen their relationships during a time of unemployment:
• Write down your thoughts. When job seekers start writing down their thoughts just for 20 minutes a day, it gives them an avenue to express emotions such as remorse, anger, embarrassment, or disappointments. After a couple of weeks of journaling, they are likely to start moving beyond their feelings and start focusing on their goals.
• Manage your expectations by not putting a time limit on your spouse’s job search. Numerous factors cause a search to linger, such as a specific career field or the economy.
• Share your networking connections. Most good opportunities usually come through your network of
Spouses play a critical role in supporting the job candidate, most notably being a sounding board when needed. They can also help by using a dose of reality to keep the job seeker focused when tempted to drift back into a “watch and wait” mindset.
people. Sharing your contacts with your spouse can double the number of people they could meet.
• Limit your job search discussions. When both of you are concerned about employment, it is human nature to solve finding work. Limiting the amount of time you spend discussing a job search gives you boundaries and helps you focus on other equally important topics.