Houston is the midst of an empathy crisis
Houstonians have experienced two major hurricanes, several economic downturns, an ongoing global pandemic and a sonic boom in our population, all since 2008. We are hard on each other in this city, perhaps more than ever before, and the stress is starting to manifest in destructive behavior.
I asked aloud if we should open up the disused Astrodome for daily, free hot-yoga sessions. Something to exhale all the stress built up, but in a historical setting.
“But Craig, isn’t the whole city just a hot-yoga studio right now?” replied Houston Chronicle colleague Erica Grieder.
What is up with all the attitude, H-town? Every day we are inundated with stories of bad actors, road rage and rising crime. I asked our friends in the mental health world for some clarity.
“We’re tapped out of caring,” said Dr. Vineeth John, professor and vice chair of education in the department of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston.
John should know because, after all, he lives here, too. Houston, he suggests, is having an empathy crisis.
We are now in an era of posttraumatic stress, and many of us are making emotional, hasty decisions. Choosing the correct attitude in each circumstance and environment remains challenging.
“All of us are vulnerable and scared. Fear paralyzes altruism,” he said. “We’re out of flow with one another. Flow is when all of your talents and skill sets can match the project at hand. We don’t have a skill set for what has happened to us yet.”
Take road rage, in which we ascribe personal malice into a situation where almost none is involved. We take things in traffic personally, and our vehicles are an extension of ourselves.
“We have to reconsider our assumptions,” John said. “Road rage could be seen as a superficial sign of an illness, a sign of being out of the flow. Road rage happens when we have no capacity for empathy. There is a lot of projection going on. We assume it’s everyone else that is a jerk.”
Crisis can function as a catalyst for positive growth, though.
“Reflection is painful sometimes,” John said. “We are still in a state of disaster. We’ve moved past the honeymoon phase. We are now in the disillusioned phase. The rebuild hasn’t yet begun.”
Happiness is when our reality exceeds our expectations. When we expect a lot and truth doesn’t satisfy us, there is an inherent sense of dissatisfaction. Terrifying news headlines on our socialmedia feeds aren’t helping either.
“We like to get scared. Why do we watch horror movies? We’re drawn to certain kinds of media products that stir our primal emotions,” John notes.
While a gut-wrenching story about road rage might make us feel sadness for strangers, it also serves to make us angry and fearful.
John suggests that we embrace altruism again, starting with quick, 5-minute favors, to create a connection that some of us lost while isolated. This practice can be a valuable part of our emotional toolkit and begins to regenerate the latticework of support deconstructed during 2020.
“Creating rituals of service can lead to the individual feeling a greater sense of agency. Some of us need to rediscover our sense of agency,” John said. “Reach out to one other. Text a friend, even if it’s something fun and innocuous. We have to restart again to rebuild trust and connection to one another.”
Dr. Jennifer Bahrman, assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at McGovern Medical School at UTHealth, adds that volunteerism can be a form of self-care.
“Self-care is almost taboo,” Bahrman said. “For some, it’s just a synonym for self-indulgence, selfishness and sloth.”
Many of us are running on empty. Self-care is replenishing yourself because you can’t give what’s not there. And helping one another feels danged good.
“It’s a practice of caring for your mental health and wellbeing,” Bahrman added.
We can’t wait for a hurricane or a World Series to bring us together again. We need to help each other now. You can’t muck out a mind like you can a house.
Failing my Eighth Wonder Hot Yoga Festival idea, what can we do to help one another?