Here’s how to find a true work mentor
Q: I listen to videos of “master class” presentations of successful people marketing their systems and methods for ways to make extraordinary amounts of money. But in their introductions, they always attribute their success to having met or connected to a person who had been willing to take them under their wing to teach them. And of course, those mentors or champions didn’t charge them. Perhaps those individuals took them in and taught them business because of family or social connections, but most people in the general public often don’t have those family connections, or even relationships with businesspeople who are willing to help others.
Mentors are important to someone moving ahead in an organization, but when my friends and I talk about moving up and getting ahead, not one of us has ever met anyone who has gone out of their way to help us. Out of all the millennials with degrees, you can’t tell me that none of us are worth promoting along the way, but it doesn’t seem to happen. My friends and I have business degrees, and we have all had to find new jobs to better ourselves financially and work-wise.
How do we recognize and connect with bosses who will extend themselves to help an employee who cares about work and wants to develop a future at that company?
A: Mentors can be the critical factor to a person’s success, which may be why we see nepotism in certain industries. Nepotism may be one of the keys to finding a mentor to enter a field, but if the person can’t produce, they won’t go far. While some companies have mentoring systems in place, most don’t and that’s where relationship-building skills become necessary. This may be the missing factor in many employees’ repertoire.
Just as you can’t force a friendship, you especially can’t force a business acquaintance to become your mentor. A great boss should mentor direct reports as part of his or her job, but as you and your friends discovered, bosses may not have the time or the “heart” for it. Mentoring is a passion, no different than the person who chooses to hold a door for someone carrying a heavy package, or giving a driver the right of way when it’s not required, or offering a neighbor with a physical disability, temporary or otherwise, a ride to the store.
Mentoring is giving oneself for the benefit of another, so it will be up to you to develop the ability to recognize that personality type.
This skill will serve you throughout life,
While some companies have mentoring systems in place, most don’t and that’s where relationship-building skills become necessary. This may be the missing factor in many employees’ repertoire.
not just in the workplace.
Everyone has run into people who promise everything and deliver nothing. You can’t create a mentor, but when you recognize a boss or supervisor willing to open up to you and help, those are the relationships you’ll want to cultivate.
Keep in mind a relationship, business and personal, is a two-way street.
Don’t expect anyone to give endlessly if you don’t reciprocate in some way, even if all you can offer is extreme appreciation. A routine “thanks” won’t cut it, but sincere gratitude can take you far.
For information you may have missed in college, make reading and lifelong learning part of your routine and part of your life.
A psychology book on personality types and biographies on self-made people — Martin Luther King Jr., Maya Angelou, Eleanor Roosevelt, Andrew Carnegie, W. Clement Stone and Tony Robbins — will open your eyes to the type of person you may want to become and to the events you may experience in your own life. Work is not just about the products you produce. It’s about relationships.
The better you are at creating them, the greater your chances of being valued. Then the real mentors will find you.