How can siblings allocate their parent’s possessions with minimal conflict?

When a parent dies or downsizes many possessions, there are often many possessions that must be sold or passed on to other family members. If there are multiple children in the family, finding a way to fairly allocate these possessions can be difficult. Here are some tips on allocating how to allocate a parent’s possessions with minimal conflict.

1 Know what things are valuable and why.

It can help siblings make clearer decisions. It can be helpful to make a list of valuable items along with the reason.

2 Start that conversation as soon as you can.

Start early and simply ask what items people are interested in keeping. You may be surprised that they don’t want that much. And the things they want may not be what you thought they would want.

3 Ask why.

It’s ok to ask someone why they want a particular object. It can help you learn why that object is important to them as you want to make sure whoever gets the item will appreciate it. Just make sure you can accept whatever the answer is. If they choose something out of obligation, you can release them from that obligation.

4 Take turns.

Have siblings take turns choosing one item and go around in a circle.

5 Share things.

If something is very sentimental or valuable, perhaps siblings could share. For example, if mom has a diamond necklace that everyone wants, it could be traded each holiday so that everyone gets a chance to wear it.

6 Be organized.

Take photos of items and put them in an app or an online shared folder where siblings can comment on items they want This is a convenient method for families who are spread out. This is also a nice option because it can be saved and attached to a will.

7 Put it in your will.

To ensure items go to certain recipients, it must be stated in your will. Sticky notes and verbal promises are not legally binding. Having a clear plan can make this difficult process easier.