What’s good advice for a friend frustrated at work?
Q: I met up with a friend who seemed frustrated with his job, his working environment appears to be the point of unhappiness. He likes what he does at work, but the management style makes his work life miserable. What can I say to him that would be helpful?
A: Being frustrated with your working environment and the management you report to is one of the leading causes of leaving a job.
To gain a better understanding of the reasons why employees want to quit their jobs, Flexjobs conducted a study involving 2,202 people.
The number one reason will not surprise you; 62% said it was a toxic work environment followed by a low salary, poor management, and work/life balance.
So many employees have quit that employers are taking notice, and some of the reasons listed are now being addressed.
Grant it, you will spend about a 1/3 of your life at work, and your working environment is important. It can be a source of encouragement or discouragement.
While your friend has every right to want to leave a workplace that creates misery, it is worth noting that not everything can be pinned on management or a boss.
Often, the giver of negativity is an unhappy person who might feel insecure and, over time, develops an unhealthy pattern of relating. If your friend chooses to stay, you can help him by putting his comments in a different context, such as reframing the situation.
With employers being more sensitive to the needs of employees, this could be good timing for your friend to consider talking with human resources.
Ask good open-ended questions that send a message that you support him. Once your friend recognizes that he is in a toxic work environment, keeping up the blame game can be challenging.
Self-helplessness is a common phenomenon that takes over when you see yourself as helpless and unable to change.
This phenomenon also occurs in the workplace, and without awareness, this can affect job-search efforts.
Remaining helpless to change your situation can also be interpreted as wanting to “stay safe,” and what you know can be more tolerable than taking a risk in a job search.
Even though your friend may complain and spend sleepless nights dreading work on Monday, this still provides more comfort than a willingness to change.
Listening to him can help him vent and work through the process of gaining insight. Helping him focus on solutions rather than staying in a miserable situation offers more creativity and empowers him to make healthy decisions.