Honeymoon Israel aims to connect Jews and their spouses to the community
Adrian Heid was paying for breakfast at the Bagel Shop, when a stack of flyers caught his eye.
He grabbed one that read “Honeymoon Israel” and brought it to his partner, Andrew Burnett, who was waiting outside.
“Look what I saw at the checkout,” Heid said.
Once back at home, the couple Googled to learn more.
The national organization Honeymoon Israel’s website opens to a splash page that reads: “A nine-day trip to Israel. A community that lasts a lifetime.”
These immersive trips to Israel are offered to local groups of couples so they can “encounter and explore history, tradition and identity on their own terms.”
Sessions are open to committed couples with at least one Jewish partner; both have to be younger than 45. The couples have to be in the early stages of their marriage or commitment — and at least one partner must have never joined in an organized travel experience to Israel. All cultural, racial, gender and sexual identities are welcomed.
“For many young couples, there’s no easy way into Jewish life, especially during those critical years when they’re in permanent relationships and deciding how to shape their lives and family,” the website explains. “Honeymoon Israel offers a way in.”
Heid and Burnett had been wanting to go to Israel together; neither had ever been before.
While Heid is Jewish, Burnett grew up in the Church of Christ. But both were interested in the role of faith and culture in their relationship.
“Judaism is important to both of us,” Burnett said.
The couple moved to Houston in 2020, in the midst of the pandemic, which made it difficult to become involved in the city’s Jewish community.
“This is a program that literally makes you make friends,” Burnett said. “And we needed that so badly.”
Honeymoon Israel sounded like much more than an amazing travel opportunity, he said. “We knew that we would never be able to do this on our own. We just really, really, really wanted it.”
The deadline to apply was only two days away.
This would be the first Honeymoon Israel trip out of Houston — and 50 couples ended up submitting applications, with room available for only 19.
“The most anxious thing was waiting for the decision,” Heid said. They were thrilled to finally receive an invitation.
Unique travel experience
Heid and Burnett are ideal candidates, said Mari O’Leary, engagement associate of the Jewish Federation of Greater Houston, which sponsored the trip.
After all, the goal of the program is to identify couples looking to further engage in Judaism and in the local community. For instance, some of the couples were already attending synagogues in Houston, while others were not.
“This trip is really for those who have not found a place for themselves yet,” O’Leary said. “The trips are specifically meant for couples who do not have strong connection to Jewish life — but who are searching for ways to incorporate the faith into their family, home and relationships.”
The idea is to gain a deeper understanding and connection to Judaism in Israel, and to form a community with other Houston Jews, a bond that could continue to flourish back at home.
Honeymoon Israel started in 2013, when Buffalo, N.Y., resident Mike Wise read “A Portrait of Jewish Americans,” a Pew Research report.
“He saw a study that a large percentage of marriages are now interfaith,” O’Leary said. “That struck him.”
In fact, the survey stated that 58 percent of Jews who have married since 2000 have a nonJewish spouse, up from 41 percent in the 1980s and 17 percent before 1970. A number of young Jews were the product of interfaith families themselves.
The study also showed that 32 percent of Jews born after 1980 did not identify with the religion on the basis of culture, ethnicity or ancestry.
Wise wanted to find a way to better reach young couples from diverse backgrounds and introduce them to Jewish life.
The travel idea was an instant hit. The Jewish Federation of Greater Houston “fell in love with it,” O’Leary said. “The federation saw so much potential, so much growth and community in this program. It’s unlike anything we’ve ever offered.”
Plans for a trip from Houston moved forward with a date set in 2020. Then COVID hit.
“We had to postpone it for two years,” O’Leary said. “We were looking for the perfect opportunity to launch it for the first time.”
Finally, the Jewish Federation decided on February 2022.
O’Leary started spreading the word on social media, through word of mouth and putting up flyers.
Opening a door to conversation
O’Leary, who is Jewish and in an interfaith marriage, brought her husband, Jim, along for the ride. Neither of them had been to Israel before.
“It ended up being a very special trip,” she said. “We had so many profound moments. It was very emotional.”
She felt like the trip tightened their bond as a couple and their understanding of faith. As the trip leader, she witnessed a similar phenomenon in the other couples.
“This trip is meaningful,” she said. “The questions that come out of it are just incredible and life changing.”
Burnett said the trip provided a space where they were “able to think on so many concepts related to Judaism — Judaism as a culture, in addition to a religion, Judaism as an identity — and we were able to discuss that with other couples.”
There were open conversations, visits with Jewish scholars and an “Ask the Rabbi” night with Rabbi Josh Fixler of Congregation Emanu El, who joined the trip.
“Nothing was off limits,” Fixler said. “They asked me about prayer, the role of women in Judaism, what I thought of interfaith relationships, Israel and politics. It lasted almost two hours. I answered questions until they all got tired.”
The rabbi learned about Honeymoon Israel when it started and had friends who attended the first trips out of New York.
Fixler is also a fellow of 18Doors, a group which seeks to empower interfaith couples to engage in Jewish life.
When he heard that Honeymoon Israel was establishing a Houston trip, he thought, “I have to go.”
“I just think it’s a brilliant model,” Fixler said. “Travel has the potential to be transformative.”
Participants learn about Judaism, faith, culture and ancestry. “And Israel is the best place for that conversation to happen,” the rabbi said.
“They are thoughtful about building a group where there is diversity but also shared experience,” he said.
On bus rides, Fixler answered questions about Jewish life, history and Israel. He led Shabbat experiences and even offered a blessing over the relationships.
“Honeymoon Israel is really about reaching people who have never found an open door into Jewish life in the past,” he said. “My job on the trip is to make sure they know how wide open the door is in the Jewish community.”
Strangers go home as family
The trip started in Tel Aviv and ended with five days exploring Jerusalem. The couples celebrated Shabbat together, volunteered on a kibbutz and visited the Dead Sea.
Evenings were free. “We had the ability to mingle with different couples and go out to dinner,” O’Leary said. “None of it felt awkward. All of us got along and embraced this experience together.”
Heid said his favorite part became joining the other couples for breakfast, “talking about life and having deep conversations about all the topics.”
He and Burnett plan to go back to Israel in the future, as do O’Leary and her husband. In the meantime, the couples are enjoying their own little piece of Israel in Houston — their newly found friends in the Jewish community.
“Just getting to know all the couples on a very deep level was one of the most satisfying parts,” Heid said. “It’s hard to have a favorite moment or activity. The entire 10 days were one amazing experience.”
Burnett added, “We now have so much in common with — and love — all these people we didn’t know before.”
Already, the couples have joined for Shabbat dinners, brunches and even Thanksgiving celebrations. And they are planning a reunion on Dec. 18.
“Our community is not just going to be the other 19 couples we traveled with, but the future groups, too,” Burnett said. “I think that’s the most exciting part.”
The Jewish Federation of Greater Houston will be raising funds to offer another Honeymoon Israel trip soon.