How to best answer career-related questions during your family gatherings
Q: I am still trying to figure out what to say to family members when asked about my career during the holidays. A year ago, I was in a job search, and my aunt gave me a lead on a job, which turned out to be a mixed blessing. It kept me working most of this year. However, a couple of weeks ago, I had a problem with my boss and quit. When she asks me how things are going at work, I do not want to make her feel bad and put her in an awkward position. How would you handle this situation?
A: As you have experienced, family members can be some of the best networking connections you have, and the holidays provide the perfect setting to catch up and share information. However, in your situation, it helps to have a plan in mind to answer questions that you expect during conversations.
Change can be somewhat stressful, and career challenges can be awkward when they surface. Family gatherings set the stage for informal discussions, and those who know you well can often ask more direct questions. It helps to keep in mind the spirit of intent, as with most family gatherings, they care about your well-being and want the best for you.
Being prepared to answer questions about your job is a smart move. However, envisioning a worst-case scenario before a conversation with your aunt can often lead to doubt about your decision to leave. Be mindful of becoming defensive because career topics can be sensitive subjects.
It sounds like your aunt has a vested interest in you since she gave you a good lead. However, not all jobs are what they first appear. While she might be disappointed the job did not work out, consider sharing the same sentiments. Some jobs are not suitable matches for you personally, and no one would have known that before you actually started working there.
Creating a plan to address career topics with family members can help avoid awkwardness.
Here are some suggestions to keep in mind: When your aunt asks about your job, be honest and tell her it is a mixed blessing. Be genuine with what you learned from working there and how the new skills have added to your work experience. This response sends a mature message reflected with thoughtfulness instead of dwelling on a bad lead.
The surprising effect of a difficult job is the gift of self-awareness. Knowing what you like in your career choices and what you dislike is essential. Focus on what you learned from the experience; after a brief explanation, you can change the conversation to one of moving forward.
Most family members want to be supportive. However, they need your direction on how they can help. Be clear about what you are looking for in a job, the industry, and the skill sets that interest you.
Be gracious to your aunt and convey your appreciation even though the job did not work out as expected.
Kimberly Thompson, M.Ed., is a national board-certified counselor and career coach. Send questions to kim@careerrescue.com or visit her blog at HoustonChronicle.com/careers.