Houston Chronicle Sunday

Why We Avoid Talking About Death

- TRIPP CARTER Licensed Funeral Director Co-founder of Bradshaw Carter

Certain conversati­ons are uncomforta­ble to have— and the talk about death is likely first on the list. There are many reasons why we avoid discussion­s of death—among them:

We’re unprepared to die.

What will happen you your loved ones if you die tomorrow? Do you have outstandin­g debts or house payments they will have to deal with? Will you be leaving them any money to address funeral and burial expenses? Often, we feel unprepared for death and frankly embarrasse­d to burden our loved ones with this lack of preparatio­n.

We feel guilty asking others to do things for us. Talking

about death often means talking to loved ones about how they can assist us in the event of our death. This can lead to feelings of guilt.

We fear family arguments.

What if your funeral wishes or end-of-life decisions differ from the thoughts or beliefs of your family members? Many of us fear that discussing such an important a topic can lead to rifts with the people we love.

We’re frightened to die.

Of course, many of us are uncomforta­ble with death’s uncertaint­y and finality. Even those of intense religious faith may feel uncomforta­ble discussing their own mortality.

We don’t want to upset anyone.

Talking about death can be uncomforta­ble for everyone—and broaching it with a close loved one can be traumatic or simply awkward.

For all of these things, though, remember: Talking about death can be uncomforta­ble, but it is nothing compared to the burden of losing a loved one who has never discussed these important issues. Talking about death is the only way to provide peace of mind—for yourself and the people you care about.

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