Dance mom wants to become dancing mom
Dear Miss Manners: My 6-year-old daughter is a secondyear dance student at a noncompetitive dance studio.
She had taken ballet her first year, but said this year she wanted to try tap. I was thrilled she wanted to do something new, because I encourage her and my son to try new activities whenever possible.
I was also somewhat saddened that she did not wish to take ballet again — I find ballet to be very beautiful and really loved to watch her — but I did not press the issue because I want her to make her own choice.
Not having been the dance type when I was young, I thought it would be interesting if the dance studio offered an adult ballet class! I posed the idea to the owner.
Meanwhile, my daughter decided to take up ballet again this season, after she found that one of her friends was doing so. I’m ecstatic and have been loving seeing her take both classes and enjoy her time with her dance friends!
Just today I learned the studio is gauging interest in an adult ballet class. I would love to take the class, but I am afraid that if I do, it will look like I’m trying to “compete” with my daughter, or somehow overshadow what I consider to be her activity. I don’t want to encroach on her hobby by doing it myself, especially if we were both in the same spring recital.
Gentle Reader: You have a short window of time before your daughter starts to think everything you do is embarrassing. Miss Manners recommends that you enjoy yourself now while you do not have to hear about it.
She further suspects that if the adult class is gaining interest, it will likely include other parents who are looking for something to do while their children are in class (or if that is not the proposed scheduling, it should be).
If your daughter does take issue with it, you can point out that your choices are not to be predicated on hers. But if, more likely, you are worried about what the other parents will think, stop it. Miss Manners does not participate in that kind of embarrassment or catering to speculated motives — and she heartily recommends others not do so.
Dear Miss Manners: When picking a date to celebrate a milestone anniversary or birthday, should you choose a day after the actual date of said birthday or anniversary? Or is celebrating before the actual date OK?
Say your husband turns 50 in October but you would like to give the party Labor Day weekend. Is that acceptable, or does the celebration have to fall after the actual event?
Gentle Reader: While it utterly confuses Miss Manners that we rarely celebrate holidays on their actual dates — even when the name of the holiday is the actual date — the same reasoning, she supposes, goes into picking times to commemorate birthdays.
Having the next day off or doing it at the convenience of most guests makes sense; before or after is of no consequence.
Just be prepared for some lively banter when everyone inevitably asks, “When is your actual birthday?”