What to do when a child confides sexual assault

There are some things we should know as adults. Things like CPR, managing a budget, changing a flat tire, and what to do when a child, even one you’ve never met before, tells you they have been sexually assaulted.

I did not know the answer when I spoke to a group of students about the Me Too Movement in 2018. The event was held on a college campus. I learned only a few minutes before the talk I would be speaking to more than 100 high schoolers, not college students.

Many teens need adults who will be straight with them, so I opted not to water down the topic for the younger audience.

My speech was a heavy condemnation of a culture that allows victims of sexual assault and harassment to be further victimized by society and the legal system.

I shared my experience when a highly respected best-selling author groped me in public (no one saw it), and then whispered vulgarities before we took the stage for our interview. I told the event’s organizers what happened, then I threw away all of his books that night. I should have walked out, but if I had been much younger, I’m reasonably certain I would have kept what happened to myself out of fear.

Being silent about sexual harassment and assault does not make it go away, I told the students. We go silent because we are scared of being judged, not being believed, or even retaliation. But it wears on your soul.

After my presentation, a teen girl came up to the podium with tears in her eyes. She told me that she had been raped by two boys in her class who were also in the audience that day. I ushered her outside to talk privately. She recounted graphic details of what happened.

Her mother didn’t believe her and her father wasn’t around, she said. When I asked why she told me, she said that I seemed like a kind person. I thanked her because it took courage for her to tell me, a stranger.

I wrote down her name, school and contact information, and I told her that I would do what I could to help, knowing that I wasn’t sure what that meant. I also told my editor what happened. Then I contacted several sources who work in child advocacy for advice.

In Texas, anyone who suspects child abuse (including rape and sexual harassment) or neglect must report it immediately to authorities. The report may be made to any local or

state law enforcement agency or the Department of Family and Protective Services. I filed reports with both the police and DFPS.

Sexual abuse of children is rampant, with 1 in 9 girls experiencing sexual abuse or assault and 1 in 53 boys, according to RAINN, the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, the largest anti-sexual violence organization in the U.S.

Everyone has a part to play in protecting victims, but many of us are too busy with our own lives to take notice. We all need to pay more attention and know what to do to help protect more children.

I called the girl a day later to give her some resources for support. She didn’t answer, and I never heard from her again.

But I continue to pray that she got the help she needed.