Taking shots at Peyton Manning and his sore foot
Peyton Manning, one of the all-time greatest quarterbacks, played one of the all-time worst games last Sunday. He complet- ed five passes to his own team, four passes to the other team and 11 passes to nobody.
Even Papa John would agree, that’s not “better football.”
The next day it came out that Manning was suffering from plantar fasciitis, big-time pain in his left foot.
Hey, I had that earlier this year. Same foot.
I felt his pain. Every step was excruciating. I couldn’t play tennis or ride a bicycle. I wound up in a walking boot … the kind real athletes wear when they’re injured.
So this is the voice of experience playing doctor for Manning.
First, he needs to do what I did — stay home and not play professional football on Sundays.
Sure, his foot hurt last week, but it was pretty painful for fans to watch, too. Maybe it’s time …
Of course, I had help dealing with plantar fasciitis. I may have mentioned the pain in my left foot (great movie) in a column. One thing about readers, you’re never short of advice.
Some of your diagnoses and therapies:
“I’ve had that experience of stepping out of bed and feeling like my foot was on fire with ice picks through the bottom of it before. While you’re watching TV, roll a tennis or golf ball under your arch. Even better, a frozen water bottle.”
“Put the balls of your feet on a step or the curb, and stretch out your foot.”
“It was the most painful thing I’ve ever had, and I’ve given birth to a 10-pounder by Lamaze while attempting to pass a kidney stone. I screamed bloody murder.”
“Hold your foot with the toes in the palm of your hand and pull back. Massage the arch with the other hand. “
“If you wear a night splint while you sleep, you’ll feel fine
in the morning.”
“Wear an insert in your shoes all the time. Do not go barefoot. Not even to make a trip to the bathroom.”
“Tap the side of the heel with a wooden mallet for 15 minutes, three times a day, for six to eight weeks.”
“Try intense deep-tissue massage therapy.”
“Trust me, do not get a cortisone shot. Very painful and didn’t help. Try an ice pack.”
“Place your arms straight out against a wall, lean in and rock back and forth from toe to heel.” “Wear Crocs.” From recently retired Houston Astros trainer Rex Jones:
“No injection! It hurts like hell, and it doesn’t always work. Plus you have to pay the doc. We use laser treatments on our players with success. You’d probably have to see a therapist to make that happen.”
How did I beat my plantar fasciitis? I tried foot exercises, shoe inserts, night splint, walking boot and most of the reader suggestions. I did not pound my foot with a mallet, however, because I am not a veal cutlet. Nothing worked. Last resort, I went running (limping) to a foot doctor who put four injections of cortisone in my foot — two times over a month. It didn’t hurt because two nurses held me down while he sprayed my foot with a numbing blast of arctic cold gas.
It’s been five months, and I’m pain-free. I’m back playing tennis, riding a bike, taking the stairs at work and not playing professional football. Just sayin’, Peyton.
Random thoughts
Skeeters Mesquite Grill has a new deal: Burger Bash Thursday. Every week, they’ll introduce a new burger. The most popular ones will make the permanent menu. Given the limited number of possible toppings, I can’t see this promotion lasting more than 25 years.
The world’s weightlifting championship is starting this week in Houston. I don’t lift weights. You know why? They’re too heavy.
Pethouse Pet of the Week Name: Sammy Ethnicity: I’m an Italian Greyhound and standard Dachshund mixed-up fella.
Birthdate: June 14, 2015. Just a li’l guy.
Sammy’s song: Whew! It’s not just me. Other people can’t unscrew a Diet Pepsi bottle, either.
Something weird is definitely going on at the Pepsi bottling plant. I’m practically bursting a vein in my forehead trying to open a bottle of Diet Pepsi.
I think they’re squirting Krazy Glue inside the bottle caps.
Emails poured in from fellow frustrated Pepsi consumers. Here’s one from reader Jerry Dupuy, who’s a certified public accountant, which means he has the strength of 10 men.
“It’s virtually impossible to open a 2-liter bottle. I got a knife and tried to cut the edge of the cap. No luck. Then, like you, I got a hefty set of pliers and tried with all my might to get that darn thing open. No luck again. I finally went back to the knife and sliced open the side of the plastic bottle. Which brings me to another gripe. I’ve heard that Pepsi is discontinuing production of Pepsi Max.”
Answer: I haven’t heard anything about Pepsi Max going away. I always find a steady supply of Diet Pepsi and Pepsi Max at the 99 Cents Only store. It’s cheaper than supermarkets. Other readers gave tips for opening too-tight Pepsi bottle caps. Use rubber gloves or wrap rubber bands around the cap. Here’s an even better solution: Coke Zero.