Visit Seguin’s wonder of the world — just know it’s a bit nutty
The Great Wall of China. Eiffel Tower. Sydney Opera House. Empire State Building. Cavern Club. Roman Colosseum. Golden Gate Bridge. Washington Monument. Graceland. Done. Almost. For a few years, I’ve been looking for that special place to complete my bucket list of world landmarks.
Last week I found it, serendipitously (great word), in the last place I expected. I was driving along East Court Street in Seguin, on my way to the baseball field at Texas Lutheran University, when there it was …
In front of the courthouse … “The World’s Largest Pecan.” Stop the car! You’d think I would already have discovered the “World’s Largest Pecan.” I’ve been to Seguin 10 times at least. It’s a small Texas town with a neat old downtown, cafes, coffee shops and about 25,000 people, 35 miles east of San Antonio on Interstate 10.
Little League holds its U.S. Southwest Regional tournament there. Seguin also hosts tournaments for summer select teams. You want a recommendation? Try Mama’s Meat Loaf with Mississippi Mud Cake for dessert at the Dixie Grille. You’ll need an XL doggie bag. On top of that, Seguin is the childhood home of the Houston Chronicle’s own Lisa Falkenberg.
Now I’m back in Seguin, watching college baseball. I used to have a life.
Unveiled in 1962, “The World’s Largest Pecan” isn’t an actual edible nut. It’s a sculpture made of metal. It’s 5 feet long, 2½ feet wide and weighs 1,000 pounds. It was built in honor of Seguin’s pecan industry. You like pecan-crusted chicken? Pecan pie? You’ve come to the right place.
While I was reading the plaque, two couples from Dallas took selfies in front of the “World’s Largest Pecan.”
“It’s our No. 1 tourist attraction,” said Myra Salinas, a Seguin tourism official. “When people come to our office, that’s
the first place I send them. Our second-biggest tourist attraction is the Nutcracker Museum at Pape Pecan House, which has 8,300 nutcrackers from around the world.”
The official state tree of Texas — the pecan. The official health nut — the pecan.
I thought the official health nut of Texas was Susan Powter, the “Stop the Insanity” exercise loon.
Here’ the thing about the “World’s Largest Pecan,” though.
It’s not the world’s largest pecan. It’s not even Seguin’s largest pecan.
From 1962-82, there was no disputing that Seguin was home to the largest sculpture in the shape of a pecan — the one in front of City Hall. In 1982, Brunswick, Mo., built an even bigger pecan in honor of its pecan industry. Texas pecans are better, just FYI.
The Brunswick pecan is 12 feet long, 7 feet wide and weighs 12,000 pounds. It’s made of concrete.
Brunswick beat its chest: “We’ve got the ‘World’s Largest Pecan’ now.” And it did.
In 2002, John Pape, owner of Pape Pecan House in Seguin, built another massive work of pecan art. This one is 10 feet long, 5 feet wide. He wasn’t aware that Brunswick already had a bigger one. Once he realized that, he put a sign on his new pecan, the “World’s Largest Mobile Pecan.” It sits on a trailer.
All the time, despite protests by the good people of Brunswick, Seguin kept its “Home of the World’s Largest Pecan” sign in front of City Hall.
In your face, Brunswick!
To settle the pecan score once and for all, in 2011, Seguin built a really, really huge pecan — 16 feet long and 8 feet wide. Game over. Brunswick has no plans to top that.
Let’s go to the scoreboard.
The undisputed “World’s Largest Pecan” is housed at the Big Red Barn at the Texas Agricultural Education and Heritage Center in Seguin. It sits on a trailer, too. That’s means it’s also the “World’s Largest Mobile Pecan.”
The “World’s Largest 20th Century Pecan” is in Brunswick. They’re really parsing words in Missouri.
The “World’s Second Largest Mobile Pecan” is
at Pape’s Pecan House in Seguin.
And that nut in front of Seguin’s City Hall — the town’s top tourist attraction? That’s now the “Original World’s Largest Pecan.”
It’s confusing, I know. Things were much simpler in 2009, when I was walking to Katz’s Deli in Manhattan and stumbled across the “World’s Largest Outdoor Whole Wheat Dumpling,” a 786-pound blob of dough publicizing New York City’s Dumpling Festival.
Pethouse Pet of the Week
Name: Tiger (as in Woods and Charlie Sheen’s blood type)
Birthdate: Dec. 25, 2015. I have the same birthday as Jimmy Buffett.
Ethnicity: I’m a terrier and Chihuahua-style boyfriend.
Tiger’s tales: George Martin, the immaculate, precise producer of the Beatles’ albums from “Please Please Me” to “Abbey Road,” died this week. He was 90. When manager Brian Epstein wrangled a recording session for the Beatles with EMI in London, producer Martin was the adult in the room. He harnessed the Beatles’ raw energy and helped create the magic records that made them the entertainment phenomenon. Though others claimed to be the “Fifth Beatle,” there was only one — George Martin.
As the English say, good on you, Jersey Mike’s. On March 30, the 13 Houston-area Jersey Mike’s sub shops will donate 100 percent of their sales to local groups, including The Cure Starts Now Foundation and the University of Houston Clear Lake. That’s all the money that goes into the cash register — every penny. They’re not giving a “portion of the profits” or “25 cents for every sandwich” or “a dollar for every meatball parm sub.” This is the sixth year that the sub chain has devoted a day’s sales to charity. Might I suggest the No. 6 sub? Rare roast beef and provolone with spicy brown mustard on a white roll.