Angriest Whopper sports a red-hot bun
This week, I counted to 10 and said “Serenity Now” before reaching out for the Angriest Whopper, the latest brainstorm from the troubled, dark souls at Burger King.
Whoppers are flamegrilled, so what’s this burger steamed about? It might be the hot sauce baked into the red — we’re talking deep, bright, red-velvet-cake crimson — buns.
I didn’t know they were bringing “Fear Factor” back. Did we make the bonus round on a Japanese game show?
OK, I get it, Burger King is pushing the envelope, breaking the fast-food heat barrier with this burger that also carries jalapeños and a spicy “angry” sauce.
Spicy is hot on the American restaurant scene. It’s fun when we have to wave our hand in front of our mouths. Although, I stop short of entering a hot-wings contest where they make you sign a legal waiver before the emcee (usually a wacky local DJ) yells, “No drinking water allowed!”
Spicy, I get. But putting this flamethrower on a bright-red bun, I don’t understand.
The last time Burger King unleashed a gimmick bun, it was the A.1. Halloween Whopper, with a pitch-black bun that had A.1. Steak Sauce baked into the bun. The ebony bun was not a whopping success. And now Burger King has another weird bun that’s the wrong color?
BK says the Angriest Whopper will be around for a limited time only, “while supplies last.”
Remember the Zager and Evans oldie, “In the Year 2525”? I’m pretty sure red bun supplies will still be around by then.
Thing is, take away the unsettling bloody bun, and the Angriest Whopper is a bold, piled-high burger with a devilishly spicy punch. There are lots of interesting flavors and textures inside that corrupt bread. The angry onion petals (think Outback Steakhouse’s Bloomin’ Onion) are crunchy and salty. The jalapeños deliver a kick. The spicy angry sauce definitely shocks your taste buds.
Nobody’s going to complain about thick bacon, lettuce, tomatoes and cheese in supporting roles. I happen to think that lettuce is a dumbo, flavorless waste of space on a burger. But that’s just me. I make my living eating food that’s bad for you.
The big fail here is American cheese. Burger King spends all this effort trying to turn customers into circus fire breathers, then it lays a slice of dull, bland American cheese on the Angriest Whopper. That ticked me off royally. Hey, maybe that was the idea!
Still, pepper jack cheese would have been the smart play.