Houston Chronicle

Dear Abby: Woman hesitates to share secret fantasies.

- Curious in Texas Protective Mother Never Forgetting in Pennsylvan­ia

Dear Abby:

I am in a happy relationsh­ip with a wonderful man. Our life is great together, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I have one issue, however. I like to look at lesbian porn maybe a few times a week. I don’t actually want to be with another woman — it’s just a fantasy of mine.

Is this wrong? Should I tell my boyfriend? Dear Curious:

Books have been written about the many varied sexual fantasies women have. Yours is not unusual, and you shouldn’t feel guilty. Nothing compels you to share your fantasy with your boyfriend. (But if you do, don’t be shocked if he finds it a turn-on because many men also fantasize about women having sex together.)

Dear Abby:

I’m four months’ pregnant by my ex-boyfriend. We ended our relationsh­ip six months ago but continued to see each other for sex. He’s in the Army and has depression and PTSD. At first, he was my knight in shining armor, but after I moved into his house, he become mentally and physically abusive.

He is now in a new relationsh­ip. He changed his phone number and hasn’t checked on me or our baby in weeks. I want him to have a relationsh­ip with his child, but every time I look at him I see a liar, a manipulato­r and an abuser. How do I get over my feelings and persuade him to be in our child’s life? Dear Protective Mother:

What a sad letter. It would be interestin­g to know how much of his abusive behavior was a result of his depression and PTSD. But if you think that an abusive man, who has changed his phone number and done his best to get out of touch with you, is a suitable father figure for a child, you are kidding yourself.

You will, however, have a chance to make him live up to his financial responsibi­lities to the baby if you discuss this with an individual who is in a position to help you — an attorney.

Dear Abby:

When I visited my sister 15 years ago, my brother-in-law tried to rape me. He was drunk, and my sister was out with her friends. I have not revealed this to my family or my sister, who is emotionall­y and financiall­y dependent on him.

My niece is now 20 years old and in college. I feel I should tell her what her dad did to me and warn her to be careful. What do you think? Dear Never Forgetting:

Frankly, I think that if your brother-in-law was going to assault his daughter, it would have happened already, and you should have told your family what he tried to do to you at the time it occurred.

DearAbby.com Dear Abby P.O. Box 69440 Los Angeles, CA 90069 Universal Press Syndicate

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