Bungle on the beach
Zika concerns in the most romantic of tropical settings sting brides, grooms, guests and the destination wedding business
FEAR, if not the reality of the Zika virus and the mosquitoes that carry it, is upending the carefully laid plans of couples who have long wanted a wedding in an exotic tropical locale.
Now, no party in paradise can proceed without the host taking precautions against the disease-carrying pests. Conscientious bridesto-be are scrambling to have rooms sprayed with insect repellent before guests arrive, packing extra bug spray in all formulations for guests who may not bring any, circulating newsletters with the latest advisories from government agencies and, if they really wish to set a good example, wearing long sleeves and pants.
And that assumes that the guests, many in their childbearing years, are going to these events at all. Many of the most popular wedding destinations in Central and South America, Mexico and the Caribbean also are where the Zika virus has been most active.
JoAnn Gregoli, a wedding planner at Elegant Occasions whose sunny demeanor is in sync with her Skype handle of “happily divorced,” has been dealing with fallout from these outbreaks. Last month, she watched the guest list for one wedding on the Caribbean island of Anguilla melt from 150 to 100 in a matter of weeks. She said that she helped another couple, marrying in Mexico, improvise when a pregnant member of the party was ordered to stay home by her doctor. And just a couple weeks ago, for another wedding in Mexico, she touched down loaded with bug spray. “They’re an older couple so not as nervous,” she said before the wedding, though “anyone young is not coming.”
The potential damage is financial as well as physical, and the virus, which is blamed for causing birth defects including microcephaly, “will affect everyone more and more,” Gregoli said.
That, of course, includes the destination wedding game, which is built on early reservations and contracts with wedding vendors which tend to be ironclad — requiring deposits and payment deadlines. And when booking a wedding at a resort, many require guarantees of a certain number of room reservations on top of the ceremony and reception costs.
Some couples have sought travel and wedding insurance, to guard against the unforeseen. But it unclear how many of these contracts anticipated or will cover the various ways the Zika virus is now impacting couples and their weddings.
Hayley Hines, a 30-year-old Arizona resident, was expecting to be married in Cancún, Mexico, on June 18, with 110 friends and relatives in attendance at a beachside resort. She and her fiancé, Bryan Ahearn, had attended friends’ weddings in that area and wanted the same experience.
The event was booked and practically paid for. Then a guest who was trying to become pregnant backed out; she was concerned that Mexico had reported some cases of Zika. “We’re at the age where people are having their first or second child,” Hines said.
In February, the brideto-be discovered that she, too, was expecting, and would have to bow out.
A lot of work
Becky Gillespie, the travel consultant who had spent months arranging the wedding, remembered thinking, “Oh, this is going to be a lot of work for nothing.” She spent weeks jumping through hoops with American Airlines, United Airlines and Sandos Cancún Luxury Experience Resort until she was able to return every penny of the $15,300 Hines and her guests had already paid.
Part of the allure of the destination wedding is the notion that it can help newlyweds escape some of the stress of the bigger wedding they might have had at home. But the Zika threat is a game changer. “It’s very stressful,” said Lacey Seltzer, a 29-yearold jewelry designer who made plans last year to marry Justin Pollner, 28, this fall at a resort near Cancún.
Getting married on a pretty white-sand beach has been her lifelong dream, according to her mother, Mona Seltzer, and 200 guests already have secured rooms.
Worried for guests
When the warnings about Zika grew louder earlier this year, the bride-to-be said she did not want to put her friends and guests “in an uncomfortable position” so she called the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta and now regularly checks the agency’s website.
Some recommendations, she said, have been “changing weekly.” Mexico is on the agency’s watch list, though none of its reported cases are anywhere near Cancún.
One of Seltzer’s bridesmaids withdrew on the advice of a doctor. Fourteen others were “quite on board,” she said, as was every groomsman. The wedding is still on, but “I’m not taking it lightly,” she said. “I’m upset that it has to be a question in anyone’s mind.”
The virus is of greatest concern to anyone who may be pregnant or may plan to have children after exposure. The virus can be transmitted via sexual intercourse as well as by insect bites.
Travelers who do visit affected areas, which now includes Florida, also are urged to postpone pregnancy, either by refraining from sex or using condoms, for as long as six months to give their bodies time to shed the virus if they get it.
Sandy Malone, a wedding planner who lives in Puerto Rico and caters to couples wishing to marry there, has already lost four bookings because of Zika, now that Puerto Rico has been added to the watch list.
Malone said she understood if clients needed to cancel. “I’m a wedding planner, not a physician,” she said. “I can’t tell you to ignore what the CDC. says.”
Other clients who covet the beach experience have stood by their plans, she said. “The majority of brides and grooms committed to getting married in Puerto Rico are just asking for more citronella tiki torches and putting bug sprays in the welcome bags,” she said.
For couples who can handle the vagaries, there is a potential silver lining: bargains. “Some of the venues are hurting so bad, they will give you a sweet deal,” said wedding planner Annie Lee.
Nowhere are the strains on the couple and their social circles clearer than on the online chat rooms devoted to destination weddings.
There, brides and grooms say they dread waiting for guests’ replies — or excuses.
Bridal party bails
One commentator on a weddingbee.com thread bristled about an invitee who claimed he was “fighting with human resources” to approve his vacation when she knew he was not. She also lamented how “all of the groomsmen bailed out,” adding, “I don’t understand why people do this.”
On the same thread, another bride-to-be, marrying in Mexico in August, bemoaned having to guarantee a block of rooms by June 1 when only five of 40 guests had responded.
Keeps guests informed
Hosts also wrestle with the delicate question of what to tell others if it is the bride’s pregnancy, not just the attrition of the guest list, that prompts cancellation of the wedding. The temptation to keep a pregnancy under wraps until it is farther along may be tempered by the knowledge that guests have arranged time off or put down deposits they may now lose.
Hines, the pregnant bride who was to have married in Cancún, leveled with everyone and shared her doctor’s letter with other guests who were seeking refunds from the airlines and hotel, according to Gillespie, her travel agent.
The couple were married instead on June 18 at the Grayhawk Golf Club in Scottsdale, Ariz. Most of their guests were able to get their money back from the Mexico bookings and joined Hines and Ahearn in Arizona.One bright spot of getting married closer to home: The groom’s 98-year-old grandfather, William Ahearn, was there. “He would not have been able to come to Mexico,” Hines said happily.